Johnny America

 

Fiction

A Coup de Théâtre
by ( November 17th, 2023 )

A Fine Line
by ( November 3rd, 2023 )

A Miss Is As Good as a Mile
by ( October 20th, 2023 )

Your Own Kind of Famous
by ( October 6th, 2023 )

Izels, from the Book of Misunderstandings
by ( September 22nd, 2023 )

Our La­dy of Cibo
by ( September 8th, 2023 )

The Oth­er Dave
by ( August 25th, 2023 )

He Joined the A‑Team
by ( August 11th, 2023 )

The Uri­nal and Me
by ( July 14th, 2023 )

Hold­ing the Bag
by ( June 30th, 2023 )

Day Off
by ( June 2nd, 2023 )

A Fu­ner­al, from the Book of Misunderstandings
by ( May 19th, 2023 )

Raphael
by ( May 5th, 2023 )

The Rab­bit’s Foot
by ( April 7th, 2023 )

Re­gret
by ( March 24th, 2023 )

Ever Small­er Sunsets
by ( March 10th, 2023 )

Bo­lo and Snag
by ( January 27th, 2023 )

At the Of­fice, from the Book of Misunderstandings
by ( December 16th, 2022 )

This Bag­gage Has Baggage
by ( December 2nd, 2022 )

Too Much Pot Pie?
by ( November 18th, 2022 )

A Band­wag­on
by ( November 4th, 2022 )

My Treat
by ( October 7th, 2022 )

Tun­nel Man
by ( September 9th, 2022 )

Two Sto­ries Across from the Cemetery
by ( August 26th, 2022 )

The En­cy­clo­pe­dia of Se­r­i­al Killers
by ( August 12th, 2022 )

Hap­py Place
by ( July 29th, 2022 )

He Said, She Said
by ( July 1st, 2022 )

My Glau­cous Umbrella
by ( June 17th, 2022 )

Bee Sting
by ( June 3rd, 2022 )

Killer
by ( May 20th, 2022 )

Sloan ♥ Neckface
by ( April 1st, 2022 )

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
by ( March 11th, 2022 )

Light­ing Out
by ( November 26th, 2021 )

Ansel Adams Has Acne
by ( October 1st, 2021 )

Horse In­sem­i­na­tor
by ( September 24th, 2021 )

Sav­ing the Music
by ( August 6th, 2021 )

A Farewell
by ( June 25th, 2021 )

Per­fect Day
by ( May 28th, 2021 )

Sur­prise Party
by ( May 7th, 2021 )

An­oth­er Round
by ( April 2nd, 2021 )

Hot Fig­ure
by ( March 19th, 2021 )

Grace­land
by ( February 12th, 2021 )

8 A.M.
by ( January 29th, 2021 )

I Wore My Red Ny­lon Short Shorts
by ( November 27th, 2020 )

Salzburg
by ( October 30th, 2020 )

Some­one with Nothing
by ( August 7th, 2020 )

Pro­file
by ( June 12th, 2020 )

In the Kitchen at the Party
by ( June 5th, 2020 )

These Hands
by ( April 17th, 2020 )

Per­fect Day
by ( February 28th, 2020 )

The War­riors
by ( January 10th, 2020 )

Ad­vent
by ( December 6th, 2019 )

Com­fort
by ( November 8th, 2019 )

Un­re­cov­er­able Sit­u­a­tions (pt. 1)
by ( October 25th, 2019 )

Son of Blob
by ( October 4th, 2019 )

The Year of Living
by ( September 20th, 2019 )

Friends of John­ny America
by ( July 22nd, 2019 )

Cat Con­tract
by ( March 8th, 2019 )

Honky Tonk Sue
by ( February 22nd, 2019 )

Trum­ble’s Brother
by ( January 25th, 2019 )

The Mi­nus World
by ( January 11th, 2019 )

San­to D’A­lessan­dro Tags Himself
by ( December 31st, 2018 )

Lit­tle Known In­ci­dents that Changed All of Hu­man His­to­ry For­ev­er: “How Jon­ny Di­no Changed The World”
by ( March 11th, 2016 )

In the Ab­sence of a Translator
by ( February 26th, 2016 )

Tow­er of Babel
by ( November 20th, 2015 )

Our Black Hole
by ( July 3rd, 2015 )

The Copen­hagen Interpretation
by ( June 19th, 2015 )

Class Con­flict
by ( May 22nd, 2015 )

Rum Mon­key
by ( May 8th, 2015 )

Hold On, We’re Go­ing Home
by ( April 24th, 2015 )

Pro­fes­sor Yan­nick Muller, The Man Who Be­came a Cat
by ( March 27th, 2015 )

The Un­bear­able Light­ness of Be­ing a Mike’s Hard Lemonade
by ( January 16th, 2015 )

Swans
by ( August 29th, 2014 )

A Ma­jor in Convenience
by ( July 18th, 2014 )

Si­lence
by ( June 27th, 2014 )

Pur­sued by a Bear
by ( May 30th, 2014 )

Skins Like Wet Paper
by ( May 2nd, 2014 )

Sun­days Like Sand
by ( April 18th, 2014 )

My Love is Go­ing to My Love
by ( March 7th, 2014 )

I Mar­ried a Lunatic
by ( February 21st, 2014 )

Tur­tle Power
by ( January 24th, 2014 )

The House that Arthur Neville Lives In
by ( January 10th, 2014 )

Dead Bar­be­cue
by ( December 27th, 2013 )

Spots of a Leopard
by ( December 13th, 2013 )

Lisa
by ( November 29th, 2013 )

Ad Hoc Hur­ri­cane Correspondent
by ( November 15th, 2013 )

Old Man Wrote
by ( November 1st, 2013 )

Forty-Five Sec­onds at an In­ter­sec­tion in Har­vard Square
by ( October 4th, 2013 )

Cig­a­rettes, Ba­con, and Plates
by ( September 20th, 2013 )

Basin Head
by ( September 6th, 2013 )

The Shirt Off His Back
by ( August 23rd, 2013 )

Vine Street
by ( August 2nd, 2013 )

The Hu­man Pancake
by ( April 12th, 2013 )

The Last Minoan
by ( October 30th, 2012 )

Let’s Frame the Picture
by ( October 12th, 2012 )

Death in Silverprint
by ( December 2nd, 2011 )

The Pink Missive
by ( September 30th, 2011 )

The Mak­ings of Our Story
by ( September 16th, 2011 )

The Con­ven­tion­eer
by ( September 2nd, 2011 )

My Psy­chic Life Coach
by ( August 26th, 2011 )

The Fine Line
by ( August 19th, 2011 )

Ex Ni­hi­lo
by ( July 29th, 2011 )

The Chil­dren Smell of Gaso­line and Smoke
by ( April 22nd, 2011 )

Deep­er
by ( April 1st, 2011 )

There’s Noth­ing Wrong with Hav­ing a Drink of Wa­ter, Now and Again
by ( March 25th, 2011 )

A Boy Who Looks Like Hors­es, or A Horse Who Looks Like Boys
by ( March 4th, 2011 )

Lunch at the K‑18 Café
by ( February 25th, 2011 )

Caveat
by ( February 18th, 2011 )

100 Miles From Memphis
by ( February 11th, 2011 )

All the Im­por­tant Days of the Sec­ond Grade and Some Re­cess­es Too
by ( February 4th, 2011 )

Af­ter You
by ( January 28th, 2011 )

Ad­ven­tures in the District
by ( December 31st, 2010 )

Hair Gel Kid
by ( December 24th, 2010 )

The Sedan
by ( December 17th, 2010 )

Gup­ta
by ( December 10th, 2010 )

Cold Fu­sion
by ( December 3rd, 2010 )

Sines­tra
by ( November 12th, 2010 )

The Lit­tle Bitch
by ( October 14th, 2010 )

The Man Upstairs
by ( September 2nd, 2010 )

The Clash
by ( July 5th, 2010 )

Ten Mem­o­ries of John Wood­en (RIP coach)
by ( June 11th, 2010 )

The Rise and Fall of Su­per Town
by ( May 31st, 2010 )

The Anti­etam Whore
by ( May 17th, 2010 )

Will You Mar­ry Me, Pukeface?
by ( April 19th, 2010 )

Va­ca­tion
by ( April 12th, 2010 )

Hall Du­ty
by ( April 5th, 2010 )

The Is­land
by ( March 29th, 2010 )

Pa­rade
by ( March 11th, 2010 )

The Sum­mer Julie Wrecked Her Pontiac
by ( February 1st, 2010 )

Calami­ty People
by ( January 18th, 2010 )

Foot­ball
by ( December 21st, 2009 )

The Smell of Love, the Col­or of Happiness
by ( December 14th, 2009 )

Wine and Salad
by ( December 1st, 2009 )

Sto­ry by Jim­my Chen
by ( October 26th, 2009 )

Through the Looking-Glass
by ( October 22nd, 2009 )

This Par­tic­u­lar Champion
by ( October 15th, 2009 )

Croc­o­dile Tears
by ( October 8th, 2009 )

De­tec­tive Tish
by ( September 23rd, 2009 )

Fa­mous Writ­ers Get Workshopped
by ( September 21st, 2009 )

My Ex-Girl­friend’s Wed­ding Day
by ( August 21st, 2009 )

Male En­hance­ment
by ( August 11th, 2009 )

Bog
by ( August 6th, 2009 )

Trinidad in Three Pieces
by ( July 30th, 2009 )

Blades
by ( July 29th, 2009 )

Emer­gency Contacts
by ( July 25th, 2009 )

The Un­in­vit­ed Guests
by ( July 21st, 2009 )

Every­one Plays
by ( June 8th, 2009 )

Alien
by ( May 23rd, 2009 )

Imag­ined Sce­nar­ios of How My Life Will Go if You Dump Me
by ( April 18th, 2009 )

Fly­ing the Co-Op
by ( April 9th, 2009 )

Stan­dard Deviation
by ( March 28th, 2009 )

It’s Not Re­al­ly About the Plums
by ( March 18th, 2009 )

Sounds from Paradise
by ( February 28th, 2009 )

David Mack­ey
by ( February 16th, 2009 )

Un­em­ployed
by ( February 14th, 2009 )

Bad Hang­over
by ( January 30th, 2009 )

Blurb
by ( January 26th, 2009 )

The Soc­cer Ball
by ( January 10th, 2009 )

Fishie’s Last Rites
by ( December 28th, 2008 )

Sub­way Imitator
by ( December 15th, 2008 )

Sug­ar Sugar
by ( December 1st, 2008 )

Patch­es
by ( November 24th, 2008 )

On the Side
by ( November 10th, 2008 )

This Is­n’t Me — I’ve Nev­er Been to a “Doc­tor”
by ( November 3rd, 2008 )

End of February
by ( September 30th, 2008 )

Eclipse
by ( September 25th, 2008 )

Cur­tains
by ( September 23rd, 2008 )

A Boil­ing Fuzz
by ( September 16th, 2008 )

[An ear­ly chap­ter of an un­named novel]
by ( September 5th, 2008 )

lol
by ( September 2nd, 2008 )

And Who Ex­act­ly Are The Freaks [Who] Come Out At Night, Whodini?
by ( August 29th, 2008 )

The Or­nish Dri­ve Chick­en House
by ( August 28th, 2008 )

Don’t Kid
by ( August 26th, 2008 )

The Tree-Touch­er, the Mum­bler and the Naked Lady
by ( August 16th, 2008 )

Bait­ed
by ( August 5th, 2008 )

The An­cient Art of Kathak
by ( August 1st, 2008 )

The Three Past and Fu­ture Spous­es of Car­men Elec­tra De­bate the Place­ment of the A‑sharp
by ( July 29th, 2008 )

To Catch an Editor
by ( May 13th, 2008 )

A Sor­cery Swan Song
by ( May 5th, 2008 )

The Drop
by ( April 8th, 2008 )

The Apart­ment Se­cu­ri­ty Man
by ( March 26th, 2008 )

Bun­ny Ears
by ( March 19th, 2008 )

The Pa­rade
by ( March 10th, 2008 )

The Bat­tery Lickers
by ( February 22nd, 2008 )

Sun­day Morning
by ( February 19th, 2008 )

Smoke and the Unventilated
by ( January 3rd, 2008 )

Kits, Cats, Sacks, Wives
by ( December 29th, 2007 )

Lot­ta Grows Up
by ( December 21st, 2007 )

This is Ex­act­ly What I Ate
by ( December 3rd, 2007 )

Char­lie’s Pen­cil has Soc­cer Balls on It
by ( November 29th, 2007 )

A Five Let­ter Word for Rab­bit Fur
by ( November 10th, 2007 )

My Fa­ther’s Bloomsday
by ( October 29th, 2007 )

Talk­ing about Maybe
by ( October 24th, 2007 )

The Show­er Fixture
by ( October 6th, 2007 )

Var­ie­gat­ed: Many col­ored (adj.)
by ( September 27th, 2007 )

Life Teach­ing Anec­dotes of an Ex­alt­ed Wise Man
by ( September 24th, 2007 )

Roger Starts an Omelet
by ( September 18th, 2007 )

Hap­py Birth­day, Ann
by ( September 12th, 2007 )

The Claw Machine
by ( September 9th, 2007 )

At Home
by ( September 6th, 2007 )

From a Hole in the Ice
by ( September 3rd, 2007 )

Say, What Ever Hap­pened To Vi­dal Sassoon?
by ( August 8th, 2007 )

The Night Gardener
by ( July 24th, 2007 )

Telepa­thy
by ( July 10th, 2007 )

Ex­cerpts from the Can­cer Ward
by ( July 8th, 2007 )

What It’s Like to Be Poisoned
by ( June 10th, 2007 )

The Meta­mor­pho­sis of Love
by ( May 29th, 2007 )

Or­gan­i­cal­ly Red
by ( May 26th, 2007 )

th, 2003: The Day Bruce Spring­steen Ran Out of Inane Child­hood Sto­ries to Talk About Be­fore Start­ing a New Song">Au­gust 11th, 2003: The Day Bruce Spring­steen Ran Out of Inane Child­hood Sto­ries to Talk About Be­fore Start­ing a New Song
by ( May 22nd, 2007 )

Drill
by ( May 5th, 2007 )

Taco Fairy
by ( May 2nd, 2007 )

A Tech­ni­cal­ly, The­o­ret­i­cal­ly, and Po­lit­i­cal­ly Per­fect Sto­ry, or What Re­mains af­ter Many Years of Ex­ten­sive, In­ten­sive, Sen­si­tive, Open-Mind­ed Work­shops, Peer Ed­its, Com­mu­ni­ty Cri­tiques (Con­struc­tive and Oth­er­wise), and Help­ful Sug­ges­tions from All Ages, Dis­abil­i­ties, Pay Scales, Na­tion­al Ori­gins, Preg­nan­cy-Re­lat­ed Sit­u­a­tions, Races, Re­li­gions, Be­lief and Un­be­lief Sys­tems, Gen­ders, Weights, Body Types, Hair and Eye Pig­ments, Fin­ger­nail Lengths, Fol­lic­u­lar En­dow­ments, Breast Sizes, Foot Odor and Hal­i­to­sis Lev­els, Pre­dis­posed Tem­pera­ments, Brain Chem­i­cal Bal­ances and Im­bal­ances, Svelte Rab­bits, Blood Types, and Last but by No Means Least (Re­mem­ber the Old Say­ing, The Last Shall be First), Gross An­nu­al Ear­wax Pro­duc­tion Levels
by ( April 24th, 2007 )

The Sur­vivors Cat­a­log Their Col­lec­tive Knowledge
by ( April 12th, 2007 )

Na­tiv­i­ty
by ( March 23rd, 2007 )

Wide
by ( March 20th, 2007 )

What You Do When You’re Not Do­ing This
by ( March 13th, 2007 )

The Sleep­er
by ( March 5th, 2007 )

Jody
by ( February 17th, 2007 )

Try­ing to For­get Your Girlfriend
by ( January 4th, 2007 )

Mon­ey-Back Guarantee
by ( December 27th, 2006 )

Christ­mas Pictured
by ( December 24th, 2006 )

The Dream of Giraffe
by ( December 11th, 2006 )

Warm and Fuzzy Thoughts
by ( November 9th, 2006 )

Hol­i­day Announcement
by ( October 27th, 2006 )

Flour Moth/Luna Moth
by ( October 26th, 2006 )

A Crumb In My Pe­nis ( from The Op­po­site of Pos­si­ble )
by ( October 21st, 2006 )

Cana­di­an Ballet
by ( October 13th, 2006 )

Pre­hen­sile
by ( September 27th, 2006 )

Tu Quoque
by ( September 24th, 2006 )

The Heavy Year
by ( September 20th, 2006 )

Long Sto­ry Short: Yurig and the Most Sa­cred of Eggs
by ( August 30th, 2006 )

Cat­tle Drive
by ( August 11th, 2006 )

Dragged On
by ( July 21st, 2006 )

Ful­ci’s Bakery
by ( July 15th, 2006 )

The Voice
by ( July 7th, 2006 )

The Price of Gas
by ( July 2nd, 2006 )

Af­ter The Zom­bies Came: Day 31
by ( June 16th, 2006 )

Di­et­ing with Jesus
by ( June 13th, 2006 )

Specs
by ( June 3rd, 2006 )

Boon­dock 7 – 11
by ( May 2nd, 2006 )

A Field Trip for Feldspar
by ( April 29th, 2006 )

Up­ward­ly Mobile
by ( April 27th, 2006 )

The Shape of Destruction
by ( April 19th, 2006 )

Ap­plied Con­tem­po­rary Thinking
by ( April 13th, 2006 )

How Man Came to Know that the Mer­illes Fish was Poi­so­nous and Inedible
by ( April 9th, 2006 )

Is As Was
by ( March 19th, 2006 )

El­e­ments of Destruction
by ( February 14th, 2006 )

The Fifth of July
by ( February 6th, 2006 )

Truth
by ( January 28th, 2006 )

Let­ter to Bet­ty J
by ( January 19th, 2006 )

The Shape of Things
by ( January 2nd, 2006 )

Help Around the House
by ( December 29th, 2005 )

Sewn Up
by ( December 23rd, 2005 )

He Was an Ass, Man
by ( December 14th, 2005 )

Fak­ing It
by ( November 25th, 2005 )

Mag­ic Bullet
by ( November 22nd, 2005 )

Hamp­ton Inn Room 306
by ( November 19th, 2005 )

The Hours Be­fore Morning
by ( November 4th, 2005 )

An Un­ti­tled Sto­ry about Spaceships
by ( October 6th, 2005 )

Lit­tle Red­fer­n’s Trip to the Supermarket
by ( October 5th, 2005 )

In­spi­ra­tions
by ( October 2nd, 2005 )

Doc­u­men­tary History
by ( September 29th, 2005 )

Open­ing Scene of a Sto­ry Ten­ta­tive­ly Ti­tled “Ste­vie Buys Some Fudgsicles”
by ( September 16th, 2005 )

See, Do
by ( September 14th, 2005 )

The Cure for Nudity
by ( August 31st, 2005 )

Lig­a­ment Sandwich
by ( August 26th, 2005 )

The Im­mi­nent Ar­rival of Gargantua
by ( August 17th, 2005 )

Af­ter The Zom­bies Came: Day 22
by ( August 5th, 2005 )

That Guy with the Han­dle­bar Mustache
by ( August 3rd, 2005 )

More Sweat in Peace­time, Less Blood in War
by ( August 3rd, 2005 )

Di­aled Calls
by ( August 1st, 2005 )

The Day Af­ter Doris & Janet­te’s End of the World Party
by ( July 28th, 2005 )

My Name is not Mar­ty, My Name is not Stacey
by ( July 13th, 2005 )

Truth in Advertising
by ( July 11th, 2005 )

Af­ter the Zom­bies Came: Day 14
by ( July 1st, 2005 )

My Tele­ki­net­ic Pow­ers: Day 8 Af­ter Their Mys­te­ri­ous Appearance
by ( June 19th, 2005 )

Last Day of School
by ( June 11th, 2005 )

You Are There: (Bern, Switzer­land) Bärengraben
by ( June 3rd, 2005 )

The Break­fast Sand­wich Plan and the Long Drive
by ( May 21st, 2005 )

Per­son­al Gifts
by ( May 6th, 2005 )

Omega Boy
by ( April 29th, 2005 )

The Very Painful Sui­cide of Dr. Philip Lyxzen
by ( April 27th, 2005 )

Neigh­bor­hood Association
by ( April 23rd, 2005 )

Palmate Antlers for Bullwinkle
by ( April 18th, 2005 )

It was Ex­tra­or­di­nar­i­ly Human
by ( April 11th, 2005 )

Al Taller
by ( April 8th, 2005 )

Open­ing Scene from a ‘B’ Novel­la Ten­ta­tive­ly Ti­tled Ben­ny Hits the Slots
by ( April 7th, 2005 )

Mar­ty’s Day Off
by ( April 2nd, 2005 )

Ad­vance Praise for The Au­thor’s Healthy Ego
by ( March 26th, 2005 )

Gold­en Venture
by ( February 22nd, 2005 )

Sur­vey
by ( February 10th, 2005 )

He Loves, They Struggle
by ( January 18th, 2005 )

Ghosts
by ( November 28th, 2004 )

Au­tos Erotic
by ( October 24th, 2004 )

Jake Brown
by ( October 6th, 2004 )

Mandy’s Legs
by ( September 20th, 2004 )

Bit­ter Bunny
by ( September 6th, 2004 )

For Whom The Bell Crick­et Tolls
by ( July 29th, 2004 )

The Hairy Elbow
by ( July 23rd, 2004 )

Romance/Missing Per­sons: WE MET BY THE NACHOS
by ( June 24th, 2004 )

th New York Post">Re­view: Re­al Life Ad­ven­tures com­ic from the May 24th New York Post
by ( May 24th, 2004 )

John Tra­vol­ta Mi­cro­phone Dance Boy
by ( April 1st, 2004 )

Fif­teen-Sec­ond The­atre # 1
by ( March 22nd, 2004 )

Robin Watch­ing Airplanes
by ( March 13th, 2004 )

Bug­boy
by ( March 8th, 2004 )

Play­ing Hooky
by ( February 19th, 2004 )

Just Add Water
by ( February 17th, 2004 )

An­i­mal in Man
by ( February 4th, 2004 )

Things I Thought of Today
by ( February 3rd, 2004 )

An Au­to­bi­o­graph­i­cal Account
by ( January 27th, 2004 )

Bun­dle of His
by ( January 24th, 2004 )

First Sen­tence of a Sto­ry Ti­tled “Max’s Ex­plod­ing Gold­fish or My Life as a Zookeeper”
by ( January 19th, 2004 )

Soy Peanuts and Tim’s Stom­ach Ache
by ( December 22nd, 2003 )

The Day of the Can­dy Shower
by ( December 11th, 2003 )

Ex­cerpts From the Di­ary of Armin Meiwes
by ( December 6th, 2003 )

Evan’s Lit­er­ary In­ter­ests At Age Thirteen
by ( November 26th, 2003 )

Ex­cerpt from my Nov­el, Cur­rent­ly Ti­tled Skil­let Blow to the Head
by ( November 14th, 2003 )

The As­sas­i­na­tion of Timaz Bendoll
by ( November 8th, 2003 )

Last Para­graph of Un­writ­ten Nov­el of the Con­tem­po­rary Iron­ic Self-Aware Type
by ( September 23rd, 2003 )

Sylvie Brings Over a Can of Tuna
by ( September 5th, 2003 )

The First Three Sen­tences of an Un­fin­ished Choose-Your-Own Ad­ven­ture Sto­ry Which Will In­volve Chi­nese Food, A Truck Ex­plod­ing, and a Brawl in Which Rocko Gets Hit on the Head with an Eggplant
by ( August 20th, 2003 )

Pic­ture of a Hipster
by ( August 14th, 2003 )

Oliv­er Not Call­ing (par­tial scene)
by ( August 4th, 2003 )

Jes­si­ca Goes Shopping
by ( July 25th, 2003 )

Short Piece In­volv­ing an Au­to­mo­bile (5 of 5)
by ( July 13th, 2003 )

Short Piece In­volv­ing an Au­to­mo­bile (4 of 5)
by ( July 11th, 2003 )

Short Piece In­volv­ing an Au­to­mo­bile (3 of 5)
by ( July 8th, 2003 )

Short Piece In­volv­ing an Au­to­mo­bile (2 of 5)
by ( July 4th, 2003 )

Short Piece In­volv­ing an Au­to­mo­bile (1 of 5)
by ( July 3rd, 2003 )

Oliv­er Buys Film (Par­tial Scene)
by ( July 3rd, 2003 )

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