Johnny America

 

Fiction

Ever Smaller Sunsets
by ( March 10th, 2023 )

Bolo and Snag
by ( January 27th, 2023 )

At the Office, from the Book of Misunderstandings
by ( December 16th, 2022 )

This Baggage Has Baggage
by ( December 2nd, 2022 )

Too Much Pot Pie?
by ( November 18th, 2022 )

A Bandwagon
by ( November 4th, 2022 )

My Treat
by ( October 7th, 2022 )

Tunnel Man
by ( September 9th, 2022 )

Two Stories Across from the Cemetery
by ( August 26th, 2022 )

The Encyclopedia of Serial Killers
by ( August 12th, 2022 )

Happy Place
by ( July 29th, 2022 )

He Said, She Said
by ( July 1st, 2022 )

My Glaucous Umbrella
by ( June 17th, 2022 )

Bee Sting
by ( June 3rd, 2022 )

Killer
by ( May 20th, 2022 )

Sloan ♥ Neckface
by ( April 1st, 2022 )

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
by ( March 11th, 2022 )

Lighting Out
by ( November 26th, 2021 )

Ansel Adams Has Acne
by ( October 1st, 2021 )

Horse Inseminator
by ( September 24th, 2021 )

Saving the Music
by ( August 6th, 2021 )

A Farewell
by ( June 25th, 2021 )

Perfect Day
by ( May 28th, 2021 )

Surprise Party
by ( May 7th, 2021 )

Another Round
by ( April 2nd, 2021 )

Hot Figure
by ( March 19th, 2021 )

Graceland
by ( February 12th, 2021 )

8 A.M.
by ( January 29th, 2021 )

I Wore My Red Nylon Short Shorts
by ( November 27th, 2020 )

Salzburg
by ( October 30th, 2020 )

Someone with Nothing
by ( August 7th, 2020 )

Profile
by ( June 12th, 2020 )

In the Kitchen at the Party
by ( June 5th, 2020 )

These Hands
by ( April 17th, 2020 )

Georgie
by ( April 10th, 2020 )

Perfect Day
by ( February 28th, 2020 )

The Warriors
by ( January 10th, 2020 )

Advent
by ( December 6th, 2019 )

Comfort
by ( November 8th, 2019 )

Unrecoverable Situations (pt. 1)
by ( October 25th, 2019 )

Son of Blob
by ( October 4th, 2019 )

The Year of Living
by ( September 20th, 2019 )

Friends of Johnny America
by ( July 22nd, 2019 )

Cat Contract
by ( March 8th, 2019 )

Honky Tonk Sue
by ( February 22nd, 2019 )

Trumble’s Brother
by ( January 25th, 2019 )

The Minus World
by ( January 11th, 2019 )

Santo D’Alessandro Tags Himself
by ( December 31st, 2018 )

Little Known Incidents that Changed All of Human History Forever: “How Jonny Dino Changed The World”
by ( March 11th, 2016 )

In the Absence of a Translator
by ( February 26th, 2016 )

Tower of Babel
by ( November 20th, 2015 )

Our Black Hole
by ( July 3rd, 2015 )

The Copenhagen Interpretation
by ( June 19th, 2015 )

Class Conflict
by ( May 22nd, 2015 )

Rum Monkey
by ( May 8th, 2015 )

Hold On, We’re Going Home
by ( April 24th, 2015 )

Professor Yannick Muller, The Man Who Became a Cat
by ( March 27th, 2015 )

The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Mike’s Hard Lemonade
by ( January 16th, 2015 )

Swans
by ( August 29th, 2014 )

A Major in Convenience
by ( July 18th, 2014 )

Silence
by ( June 27th, 2014 )

Pursued by a Bear
by ( May 30th, 2014 )

Skins Like Wet Paper
by ( May 2nd, 2014 )

Sundays Like Sand
by ( April 18th, 2014 )

My Love is Going to My Love
by ( March 7th, 2014 )

I Married a Lunatic
by ( February 21st, 2014 )

Turtle Power
by ( January 24th, 2014 )

The House that Arthur Neville Lives In
by ( January 10th, 2014 )

Dead Barbecue
by ( December 27th, 2013 )

Spots of a Leopard
by ( December 13th, 2013 )

Lisa
by ( November 29th, 2013 )

Ad Hoc Hurricane Correspondent
by ( November 15th, 2013 )

Old Man Wrote
by ( November 1st, 2013 )

Forty-Five Seconds at an Intersection in Harvard Square
by ( October 4th, 2013 )

Cigarettes, Bacon, and Plates
by ( September 20th, 2013 )

Basin Head
by ( September 6th, 2013 )

The Shirt Off His Back
by ( August 23rd, 2013 )

Vine Street
by ( August 2nd, 2013 )

The Human Pancake
by ( April 12th, 2013 )

The Last Minoan
by ( October 30th, 2012 )

Let’s Frame the Picture
by ( October 12th, 2012 )

Death in Silverprint
by ( December 2nd, 2011 )

The Pink Missive
by ( September 30th, 2011 )

The Makings of Our Story
by ( September 16th, 2011 )

The Conventioneer
by ( September 2nd, 2011 )

My Psychic Life Coach
by ( August 26th, 2011 )

The Fine Line
by ( August 19th, 2011 )

Ex Nihilo
by ( July 29th, 2011 )

The Children Smell of Gasoline and Smoke
by ( April 22nd, 2011 )

Deeper
by ( April 1st, 2011 )

There’s Nothing Wrong with Having a Drink of Water, Now and Again
by ( March 25th, 2011 )

A Boy Who Looks Like Horses, or A Horse Who Looks Like Boys
by ( March 4th, 2011 )

Lunch at the K‑18 Café
by ( February 25th, 2011 )

Caveat
by ( February 18th, 2011 )

100 Miles From Memphis
by ( February 11th, 2011 )

All the Important Days of the Second Grade and Some Recesses Too
by ( February 4th, 2011 )

After You
by ( January 28th, 2011 )

Adventures in the District
by ( December 31st, 2010 )

Hair Gel Kid
by ( December 24th, 2010 )

The Sedan
by ( December 17th, 2010 )

Gupta
by ( December 10th, 2010 )

Cold Fusion
by ( December 3rd, 2010 )

Sinestra
by ( November 12th, 2010 )

The Little Bitch
by ( October 14th, 2010 )

The Man Upstairs
by ( September 2nd, 2010 )

The Clash
by ( July 5th, 2010 )

Ten Memories of John Wooden (RIP coach)
by ( June 11th, 2010 )

The Rise and Fall of Super Town
by ( May 31st, 2010 )

The Antietam Whore
by ( May 17th, 2010 )

Will You Marry Me, Pukeface?
by ( April 19th, 2010 )

Vacation
by ( April 12th, 2010 )

Hall Duty
by ( April 5th, 2010 )

The Island
by ( March 29th, 2010 )

Parade
by ( March 11th, 2010 )

The Summer Julie Wrecked Her Pontiac
by ( February 1st, 2010 )

Calamity People
by ( January 18th, 2010 )

Football
by ( December 21st, 2009 )

The Smell of Love, the Color of Happiness
by ( December 14th, 2009 )

Wine and Salad
by ( December 1st, 2009 )

Story by Jimmy Chen
by ( October 26th, 2009 )

Through the Looking-Glass
by ( October 22nd, 2009 )

This Particular Champion
by ( October 15th, 2009 )

Crocodile Tears
by ( October 8th, 2009 )

Detective Tish
by ( September 23rd, 2009 )

Famous Writers Get Workshopped
by ( September 21st, 2009 )

My Ex-Girlfriend’s Wedding Day
by ( August 21st, 2009 )

Male Enhancement
by ( August 11th, 2009 )

Bog
by ( August 6th, 2009 )

Trinidad in Three Pieces
by ( July 30th, 2009 )

Blades
by ( July 29th, 2009 )

Emergency Contacts
by ( July 25th, 2009 )

The Uninvited Guests
by ( July 21st, 2009 )

Everyone Plays
by ( June 8th, 2009 )

Alien
by ( May 23rd, 2009 )

Imagined Scenarios of How My Life Will Go if You Dump Me
by ( April 18th, 2009 )

Flying the Co-Op
by ( April 9th, 2009 )

Standard Deviation
by ( March 28th, 2009 )

It’s Not Really About the Plums
by ( March 18th, 2009 )

Sounds from Paradise
by ( February 28th, 2009 )

David Mackey
by ( February 16th, 2009 )

Unemployed
by ( February 14th, 2009 )

Bad Hangover
by ( January 30th, 2009 )

Blurb
by ( January 26th, 2009 )

The Soccer Ball
by ( January 10th, 2009 )

Fishie’s Last Rites
by ( December 28th, 2008 )

Subway Imitator
by ( December 15th, 2008 )

Sugar Sugar
by ( December 1st, 2008 )

Patches
by ( November 24th, 2008 )

On the Side
by ( November 10th, 2008 )

This Isn’t Me — I’ve Never Been to a “Doctor”
by ( November 3rd, 2008 )

End of February
by ( September 30th, 2008 )

Eclipse
by ( September 25th, 2008 )

Curtains
by ( September 23rd, 2008 )

A Boiling Fuzz
by ( September 16th, 2008 )

[An early chapter of an unnamed novel]
by ( September 5th, 2008 )

lol
by ( September 2nd, 2008 )

And Who Exactly Are The Freaks [Who] Come Out At Night, Whodini?
by ( August 29th, 2008 )

The Ornish Drive Chicken House
by ( August 28th, 2008 )

Don’t Kid
by ( August 26th, 2008 )

The Tree-Toucher, the Mumbler and the Naked Lady
by ( August 16th, 2008 )

Baited
by ( August 5th, 2008 )

The Ancient Art of Kathak
by ( August 1st, 2008 )

The Three Past and Future Spouses of Carmen Electra Debate the Placement of the A‑sharp
by ( July 29th, 2008 )

To Catch an Editor
by ( May 13th, 2008 )

A Sorcery Swan Song
by ( May 5th, 2008 )

The Drop
by ( April 8th, 2008 )

The Apartment Security Man
by ( March 26th, 2008 )

Bunny Ears
by ( March 19th, 2008 )

The Parade
by ( March 10th, 2008 )

The Battery Lickers
by ( February 22nd, 2008 )

Sunday Morning
by ( February 19th, 2008 )

Smoke and the Unventilated
by ( January 3rd, 2008 )

Kits, Cats, Sacks, Wives
by ( December 29th, 2007 )

Lotta Grows Up
by ( December 21st, 2007 )

This is Exactly What I Ate
by ( December 3rd, 2007 )

Charlie’s Pencil has Soccer Balls on It
by ( November 29th, 2007 )

A Five Letter Word for Rabbit Fur
by ( November 10th, 2007 )

My Father’s Bloomsday
by ( October 29th, 2007 )

Talking about Maybe
by ( October 24th, 2007 )

The Shower Fixture
by ( October 6th, 2007 )

Variegated: Many colored (adj.)
by ( September 27th, 2007 )

Life Teaching Anecdotes of an Exalted Wise Man
by ( September 24th, 2007 )

Roger Starts an Omelet
by ( September 18th, 2007 )

Happy Birthday, Ann
by ( September 12th, 2007 )

The Claw Machine
by ( September 9th, 2007 )

At Home
by ( September 6th, 2007 )

From a Hole in the Ice
by ( September 3rd, 2007 )

Say, What Ever Happened To Vidal Sassoon?
by ( August 8th, 2007 )

The Night Gardener
by ( July 24th, 2007 )

Telepathy
by ( July 10th, 2007 )

Excerpts from the Cancer Ward
by ( July 8th, 2007 )

What It’s Like to Be Poisoned
by ( June 10th, 2007 )

The Metamorphosis of Love
by ( May 29th, 2007 )

Organically Red
by ( May 26th, 2007 )

August 11th, 2003: The Day Bruce Springsteen Ran Out of Inane Childhood Stories to Talk About Before Starting a New Song
by ( May 22nd, 2007 )

Drill
by ( May 5th, 2007 )

Taco Fairy
by ( May 2nd, 2007 )

A Technically, Theoretically, and Politically Perfect Story, or What Remains after Many Years of Extensive, Intensive, Sensitive, Open-Minded Workshops, Peer Edits, Community Critiques (Constructive and Otherwise), and Helpful Suggestions from All Ages, Disabilities, Pay Scales, National Origins, Pregnancy-Related Situations, Races, Religions, Belief and Unbelief Systems, Genders, Weights, Body Types, Hair and Eye Pigments, Fingernail Lengths, Follicular Endowments, Breast Sizes, Foot Odor and Halitosis Levels, Predisposed Temperaments, Brain Chemical Balances and Imbalances, Svelte Rabbits, Blood Types, and Last but by No Means Least (Remember the Old Saying, The Last Shall be First), Gross Annual Earwax Production Levels
by ( April 24th, 2007 )

The Survivors Catalog Their Collective Knowledge
by ( April 12th, 2007 )

Nativity
by ( March 23rd, 2007 )

Wide
by ( March 20th, 2007 )

What You Do When You’re Not Doing This
by ( March 13th, 2007 )

The Sleeper
by ( March 5th, 2007 )

Jody
by ( February 17th, 2007 )

Trying to Forget Your Girlfriend
by ( January 4th, 2007 )

Money-Back Guarantee
by ( December 27th, 2006 )

Christmas Pictured
by ( December 24th, 2006 )

The Dream of Giraffe
by ( December 11th, 2006 )

Warm and Fuzzy Thoughts
by ( November 9th, 2006 )

Holiday Announcement
by ( October 27th, 2006 )

Flour Moth/Luna Moth
by ( October 26th, 2006 )

A Crumb In My Penis ( from The Opposite of Possible )
by ( October 21st, 2006 )

Canadian Ballet
by ( October 13th, 2006 )

Prehensile
by ( September 27th, 2006 )

Tu Quoque
by ( September 24th, 2006 )

The Heavy Year
by ( September 20th, 2006 )

Long Story Short: Yurig and the Most Sacred of Eggs
by ( August 30th, 2006 )

Cattle Drive
by ( August 11th, 2006 )

Dragged On
by ( July 21st, 2006 )

Fulci’s Bakery
by ( July 15th, 2006 )

The Voice
by ( July 7th, 2006 )

The Price of Gas
by ( July 2nd, 2006 )

After The Zombies Came: Day 31
by ( June 16th, 2006 )

Dieting with Jesus
by ( June 13th, 2006 )

Specs
by ( June 3rd, 2006 )

Boondock 7–11
by ( May 2nd, 2006 )

A Field Trip for Feldspar
by ( April 29th, 2006 )

Upwardly Mobile
by ( April 27th, 2006 )

The Shape of Destruction
by ( April 19th, 2006 )

Applied Contemporary Thinking
by ( April 13th, 2006 )

How Man Came to Know that the Merilles Fish was Poisonous and Inedible
by ( April 9th, 2006 )

Is As Was
by ( March 19th, 2006 )

Elements of Destruction
by ( February 14th, 2006 )

The Fifth of July
by ( February 6th, 2006 )

Truth
by ( January 28th, 2006 )

Letter to Betty J
by ( January 19th, 2006 )

The Shape of Things
by ( January 2nd, 2006 )

Help Around the House
by ( December 29th, 2005 )

Sewn Up
by ( December 23rd, 2005 )

He Was an Ass, Man
by ( December 14th, 2005 )

Faking It
by ( November 25th, 2005 )

Magic Bullet
by ( November 22nd, 2005 )

Hampton Inn Room 306
by ( November 19th, 2005 )

The Hours Before Morning
by ( November 4th, 2005 )

An Untitled Story about Spaceships
by ( October 6th, 2005 )

Little Redfern’s Trip to the Supermarket
by ( October 5th, 2005 )

Inspirations
by ( October 2nd, 2005 )

Documentary History
by ( September 29th, 2005 )

Opening Scene of a Story Tentatively Titled “Stevie Buys Some Fudgsicles”
by ( September 16th, 2005 )

See, Do
by ( September 14th, 2005 )

The Cure for Nudity
by ( August 31st, 2005 )

Ligament Sandwich
by ( August 26th, 2005 )

The Imminent Arrival of Gargantua
by ( August 17th, 2005 )

After The Zombies Came: Day 22
by ( August 5th, 2005 )

That Guy with the Handlebar Mustache
by ( August 3rd, 2005 )

More Sweat in Peacetime, Less Blood in War
by ( August 3rd, 2005 )

Dialed Calls
by ( August 1st, 2005 )

The Day After Doris & Janette’s End of the World Party
by ( July 28th, 2005 )

My Name is not Marty, My Name is not Stacey
by ( July 13th, 2005 )

Truth in Advertising
by ( July 11th, 2005 )

After the Zombies Came: Day 14
by ( July 1st, 2005 )

My Telekinetic Powers: Day 8 After Their Mysterious Appearance
by ( June 19th, 2005 )

Last Day of School
by ( June 11th, 2005 )

You Are There: (Bern, Switzerland) Bärengraben
by ( June 3rd, 2005 )

The Breakfast Sandwich Plan and the Long Drive
by ( May 21st, 2005 )

Personal Gifts
by ( May 6th, 2005 )

Omega Boy
by ( April 29th, 2005 )

The Very Painful Suicide of Dr. Philip Lyxzen
by ( April 27th, 2005 )

Neighborhood Association
by ( April 23rd, 2005 )

Palmate Antlers for Bullwinkle
by ( April 18th, 2005 )

It was Extraordinarily Human
by ( April 11th, 2005 )

Al Taller
by ( April 8th, 2005 )

Opening Scene from a ‘B’ Novella Tentatively Titled Benny Hits the Slots
by ( April 7th, 2005 )

Marty’s Day Off
by ( April 2nd, 2005 )

Advance Praise for The Author’s Healthy Ego
by ( March 26th, 2005 )

Golden Venture
by ( February 22nd, 2005 )

Survey
by ( February 10th, 2005 )

He Loves, They Struggle
by ( January 18th, 2005 )

Ghosts
by ( November 28th, 2004 )

Autos Erotic
by ( October 24th, 2004 )

Jake Brown
by ( October 6th, 2004 )

Mandy’s Legs
by ( September 20th, 2004 )

Bitter Bunny
by ( September 6th, 2004 )

For Whom The Bell Cricket Tolls
by ( July 29th, 2004 )

The Hairy Elbow
by ( July 23rd, 2004 )

Romance/Missing Persons: WE MET BY THE NACHOS
by ( June 24th, 2004 )

Review: Real Life Adventures comic from the May 24th New York Post
by ( May 24th, 2004 )

John Travolta Microphone Dance Boy
by ( April 1st, 2004 )

Fifteen-Second Theatre # 1
by ( March 22nd, 2004 )

Robin Watching Airplanes
by ( March 13th, 2004 )

Bugboy
by ( March 8th, 2004 )

Playing Hooky
by ( February 19th, 2004 )

Just Add Water
by ( February 17th, 2004 )

Animal in Man
by ( February 4th, 2004 )

Things I Thought of Today
by ( February 3rd, 2004 )

An Autobiographical Account
by ( January 27th, 2004 )

Bundle of His
by ( January 24th, 2004 )

First Sentence of a Story Titled “Max’s Exploding Goldfish or My Life as a Zookeeper”
by ( January 19th, 2004 )

Soy Peanuts and Tim’s Stomach Ache
by ( December 22nd, 2003 )

The Day of the Candy Shower
by ( December 11th, 2003 )

Excerpts From the Diary of Armin Meiwes
by ( December 6th, 2003 )

Evan’s Literary Interests At Age Thirteen
by ( November 26th, 2003 )

Excerpt from my Novel, Currently Titled Skillet Blow to the Head
by ( November 14th, 2003 )

The Assasination of Timaz Bendoll
by ( November 8th, 2003 )

Last Paragraph of Unwritten Novel of the Contemporary Ironic Self-Aware Type
by ( September 23rd, 2003 )

Sylvie Brings Over a Can of Tuna
by ( September 5th, 2003 )

The First Three Sentences of an Unfinished Choose-Your-Own Adventure Story Which Will Involve Chinese Food, A Truck Exploding, and a Brawl in Which Rocko Gets Hit on the Head with an Eggplant
by ( August 20th, 2003 )

Picture of a Hipster
by ( August 14th, 2003 )

Oliver Not Calling (partial scene)
by ( August 4th, 2003 )

Jessica Goes Shopping
by ( July 25th, 2003 )

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (5 of 5)
by ( July 13th, 2003 )

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (4 of 5)
by ( July 11th, 2003 )

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (3 of 5)
by ( July 8th, 2003 )

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (2 of 5)
by ( July 4th, 2003 )

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (1 of 5)
by ( July 3rd, 2003 )

Oliver Buys Film (Partial Scene)
by ( July 3rd, 2003 )

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