Johnny America


There’s Noth­ing Wrong with Hav­ing a Drink of Wa­ter, Now and Again


Here it is, you may think that drink­ing wa­ter isn’t done. You may feel that in the bot­tom of your heart that wa­ter is not to be drunk. I’ve got a news flash for you, buddy‑o, oth­er peo­ple may feel dif­fer­ent­ly. And they’re al­lowed to feel dif­fer­ent­ly about wa­ter. That’s what makes the Amer­i­ca great: free­dom of pref­er­ence as it per­tains to water.

Peo­ple need to tol­er­ate wa­ter more. Be­cause re­al­ly, what harm is wa­ter do­ing? If you are drink­ing it, it’s do­ing you lit­tle harm, I bet. And if you aren’t drink­ing it, you’re be­ing close-mind­ed. Close-mind­ed­ness is harm­ful, so be care­ful. Don’t do it!

And have you ever tried wa­ter? Nope, I bet. Well there’s no bet­ter time to start than this time right now. Grab a heapin’ cup full by cup­ping your hands to­geth­er and fill­ing them with wa­ter, all the wa­ter — and just go nuts! You may find you love it. Maybe you loved wa­ter all along, and now you know it’s the truth! Don’t hide and run from what you love! Em­brace it or die trying!

Don’t let fear mo­ti­vate your de­ci­sion. You may have a cav­a­lier and big­ot­ed friend who says some­thing to this ef­fect, say­ing cav­a­lier­ly, “Why would you drink wa­ter when there are de­li­cious drinks to drink? And wa­ter is not, nev­er will be, a de­li­cious drink to drink. You are a buf­foon.” But you know what? I bet he or she is the re­al buf­foon. Be­cause you know why? I bet he or she will nev­er be hap­py in life, all be­cause he or she won’t try wa­ter and give it a chance to change his or her short­sight­ed way of drink­ing. Wa­ter can open up doors to a whole new world of liq­uid for you, if you let it.

No one can ever fault you for drink­ing wa­ter. I know I nev­er will, ob­vi­ous­ly. Drink all the wa­ter you like around me. And in fact, lis­ten to this lit­tle fact: I have my­self been known to in­dulge in a cupped hand or two of wa­ter every now and again. It’s per­fect­ly nat­ur­al, and there is noth­ing any­one can do or say that will con­vince me oth­er­wise. I do hope the same will be said of you, if not to­day then to­mor­row. Don’t let it go lat­er than to­mor­row, be­cause that will be harm­ful to you.

Don’t be­lieve me? It is an easy thing to do, dis­be­liev­ing is. But I promise you that you should be­lieve me rather than not be­lieve me. Wa­ter and your­self hap­pi­ly drink­ing wa­ter will thank you for it. It is as cer­tain as the trees!

And re­mem­ber: the on­ly one who can drink wa­ter is you! The pow­er to drink wa­ter lies in you! You are spe­cial enough to drink wa­ter; don’t ever think oth­er­wise! Don’t let the naysay­ers say that you are not up to drink­ing wa­ter, be­cause you are! Fol­low your dreams like a flow­ing stream to your dreams, and you will one day drink from the flow­ing stream of your dreams! The mar­ket­place of ideas starts and ends with the hearty drink­ing of water.

I love you all so very much! Goodbye!

Filed under Fiction on March 25th, 2011

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Inigo wrote:

WATER! i love SLEEP! noth­ing wrong with a good SLEEP!

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