Johnny America

 

This is It

Our Complete Archives, Sorted and Sordid

Ever Smaller Sunsets
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 10th, 2023 )

Lottery Tickets Reviewed: Fire & Ice
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on February 10th, 2023 )

Bolo and Snag
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 27th, 2023 )

Rejected New Yorker Cartoons: “Just a Splash”
by ( Filed under Comics on December 30th, 2022 )

At the Office, from the Book of Misunderstandings
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 16th, 2022 )

Contributor Appreciation: December, 2022
by ( Filed under Dispatches on December 9th, 2022 )

This Baggage Has Baggage
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 2nd, 2022 )

Too Much Pot Pie?
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 18th, 2022 )

A Bandwagon
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 4th, 2022 )

Lottery Tickets Reviewed: Cosmic Cash
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on October 21st, 2022 )

My Treat
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 7th, 2022 )

Tunnel Man
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 9th, 2022 )

Two Stories Across from the Cemetery
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 26th, 2022 )

The Encyclopedia of Serial Killers
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 12th, 2022 )

Happy Place
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 29th, 2022 )

He Said, She Said
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 1st, 2022 )

My Glaucous Umbrella
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 17th, 2022 )

Bee Sting
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 3rd, 2022 )

Killer
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 20th, 2022 )

Sloan ♥ Neckface
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 1st, 2022 )

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 11th, 2022 )

Lottery Tickets Reviewed: Elvis
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on February 4th, 2022 )

A Perennial Grievance
by ( Filed under Commentary on January 21st, 2022 )

Lottery Tickets Reviewed: Perfect Gift
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on December 24th, 2021 )

Lighting Out
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 26th, 2021 )

J. A. Recommends: the Red Hand Files
by ( Filed under Commentary & Music on November 12th, 2021 )

Ansel Adams Has Acne
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 1st, 2021 )

Horse Inseminator
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 24th, 2021 )

Sticker Sighting: Shoreditch, London
by ( Filed under Dispatches on August 20th, 2021 )

Saving the Music
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 6th, 2021 )

Matinée
by ( Filed under Commentary on July 23rd, 2021 )

Mistakes Were Made: Beam
by ( Filed under Mistakes Were Made on July 9th, 2021 )

J.A. Quarterly Retort: Spring 2021
by ( Filed under Dispatches on July 5th, 2021 )

A Farewell
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 25th, 2021 )

At the Zoo
by ( Filed under Commentary on June 11th, 2021 )

Perfect Day
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 28th, 2021 )

Surprise Party
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 7th, 2021 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #55: 2020
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on April 23rd, 2021 )

Another Round
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 2nd, 2021 )

Hot Figure
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 19th, 2021 )

Lottery Tickets Reviewed: Star Trek
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on March 5th, 2021 )

Graceland
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 12th, 2021 )

Obscure & Irregular
by ( Filed under Dispatches on February 11th, 2021 )

8 A.M.
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 29th, 2021 )

Doppelgängers
by ( Filed under Commentary on December 11th, 2020 )

I Wore My Red Nylon Short Shorts
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 27th, 2020 )

Salzburg
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 30th, 2020 )

Lunchables Reviewed: Extra Cheesy Pizza
by ( Filed under A Satanic Mechanic Reviews Lunchables on September 25th, 2020 )

Letters from the Laundromat
by ( Filed under Commentary on September 4th, 2020 )

Johnny Stickers
by ( Filed under Dispatches on August 31st, 2020 )

Someone with Nothing
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 7th, 2020 )

Rejected New Yorker Cartoons: “Rampage”
by ( Filed under Comics on July 17th, 2020 )

Strange Times / Hot Dealz…
by ( Filed under Dispatches on June 26th, 2020 )

Lunchables Reviewed: Chicken Dunks
by ( Filed under A Satanic Mechanic Reviews Lunchables & Food on June 19th, 2020 )

Profile
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 12th, 2020 )

In the Kitchen at the Party
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 5th, 2020 )

These Hands
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 17th, 2020 )

Georgie
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 10th, 2020 )

The Footnote is Part of the Story
by ( Filed under Dispatches on April 3rd, 2020 )

The Joy of Picking
by ( Filed under Dispatches on March 27th, 2020 )

Matinée
by ( Filed under Commentary on March 13th, 2020 )

Perfect Day
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 28th, 2020 )

The Warriors
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 10th, 2020 )

Abiding Realism
by ( Filed under Films on December 27th, 2019 )

Advent
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 6th, 2019 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #54: Fall, 2019
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on November 22nd, 2019 )

Comfort
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 8th, 2019 )

Unrecoverable Situations (pt. 1)
by ( Filed under Fiction & Serial on October 25th, 2019 )

Son of Blob
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 4th, 2019 )

The Year of Living
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 20th, 2019 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #53: Summer, 2019
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on August 2nd, 2019 )

Friends of Johnny America
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 22nd, 2019 )

More Words I Didn’t Use Today, But Could Have
by ( Filed under Dispatches on June 28th, 2019 )

Words I Didn’t Use Today, But Could Have
by ( Filed under Dispatches on June 21st, 2019 )

Lottery Tickets Reviewed: Powerball
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on June 14th, 2019 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #52: Winter, 2019
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on March 22nd, 2019 )

Cat Contract
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 8th, 2019 )

Honky Tonk Sue
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 22nd, 2019 )

Trumble’s Brother
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 25th, 2019 )

The Minus World
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 11th, 2019 )

Santo D’Alessandro Tags Himself
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 31st, 2018 )

A Step-By-Step Guide to Dealing with the Death of a Dog
by ( Filed under Commentary on February 24th, 2017 )

Little Known Incidents that Changed All of Human History Forever: “How Jonny Dino Changed The World”
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 11th, 2016 )

In the Absence of a Translator
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 26th, 2016 )

Tower of Babel
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 20th, 2015 )

Our Black Hole
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 3rd, 2015 )

The Copenhagen Interpretation
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 19th, 2015 )

Class Conflict
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 22nd, 2015 )

Rum Monkey
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 8th, 2015 )

Hold On, We’re Going Home
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 24th, 2015 )

Review: An Orc in Antwerp
by ( Filed under Books on April 10th, 2015 )

Professor Yannick Muller, The Man Who Became a Cat
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 27th, 2015 )

The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Mike’s Hard Lemonade
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 16th, 2015 )

Daily Deformations
by ( Filed under Commentary on January 2nd, 2015 )

Pinball Wizard
by ( Filed under Commentary on November 28th, 2014 )

Swans
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 29th, 2014 )

A Major in Convenience
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 18th, 2014 )

Silence
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 27th, 2014 )

Pursued by a Bear
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 30th, 2014 )

Spambot Poetry: The Sorted and Washed
by ( Filed under Poetry on May 16th, 2014 )

Skins Like Wet Paper
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 2nd, 2014 )

Sundays Like Sand
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 18th, 2014 )

Amish Missed Connections
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on April 4th, 2014 )

My Love is Going to My Love
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 7th, 2014 )

I Married a Lunatic
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 21st, 2014 )

Turtle Power
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 24th, 2014 )

The House that Arthur Neville Lives In
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 10th, 2014 )

Dead Barbecue
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 27th, 2013 )

Spots of a Leopard
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 13th, 2013 )

Lisa
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 29th, 2013 )

Ad Hoc Hurricane Correspondent
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 15th, 2013 )

Old Man Wrote
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 1st, 2013 )

Forty-Five Seconds at an Intersection in Harvard Square
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 4th, 2013 )

Cigarettes, Bacon, and Plates
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 20th, 2013 )

Basin Head
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 6th, 2013 )

Excuse Me Sir, Could You Tell Me How To Get To Damascus?
by ( Filed under Commentary on August 30th, 2013 )

The Shirt Off His Back
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 23rd, 2013 )

Vine Street
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 2nd, 2013 )

M. Night Genius
by ( Filed under Realer Genius on May 28th, 2013 )

The Human Pancake
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 12th, 2013 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #51: February, 2013
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on March 8th, 2013 )

Rejected New Yorker Cartoons: “At the Doctor”
by ( Filed under Comics on November 2nd, 2012 )

The Last Minoan
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 30th, 2012 )

Let’s Frame the Picture
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 12th, 2012 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #50: November, 2011
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on December 9th, 2011 )

Death in Silverprint
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 2nd, 2011 )

The Pink Missive
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 30th, 2011 )

The Makings of Our Story
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 16th, 2011 )

The Conventioneer
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 2nd, 2011 )

My Psychic Life Coach
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 26th, 2011 )

The Fine Line
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 19th, 2011 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #49: July, 2011
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on August 12th, 2011 )

Ex Nihilo
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 29th, 2011 )

Popsicle Stick Joke First Drafts
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on June 17th, 2011 )

Scarecrow and Zombie
by ( Filed under Zombies, of or Relating to on May 22nd, 2011 )

Two Letters
by ( Filed under Letters on May 14th, 2011 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #48: April, 2011
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on April 29th, 2011 )

The Children Smell of Gasoline and Smoke
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 22nd, 2011 )

Neckbeard
by ( Filed under Commentary on April 15th, 2011 )

Deeper
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 1st, 2011 )

There’s Nothing Wrong with Having a Drink of Water, Now and Again
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 25th, 2011 )

A Boy Who Looks Like Horses, or A Horse Who Looks Like Boys
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 4th, 2011 )

Lunch at the K‑18 Café
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 25th, 2011 )

Caveat
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 18th, 2011 )

100 Miles From Memphis
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 11th, 2011 )

All the Important Days of the Second Grade and Some Recesses Too
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 4th, 2011 )

After You
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 28th, 2011 )

Adventures in the District
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 31st, 2010 )

Hair Gel Kid
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 24th, 2010 )

The Sedan
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 17th, 2010 )

Gupta
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 10th, 2010 )

Cold Fusion
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 3rd, 2010 )

Skin Guard Technology
by ( Filed under Commentary on November 19th, 2010 )

Sinestra
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 12th, 2010 )

Zany: A Scholarly Inquiry
by ( Filed under Commentary on November 5th, 2010 )

The Little Bitch
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 14th, 2010 )

The Man Upstairs
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 2nd, 2010 )

Treasure: World’s Largest Ball of Twine
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on August 16th, 2010 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #47: June, 2010
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on July 19th, 2010 )

The Clash
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 5th, 2010 )

Ten Memories of John Wooden (RIP coach)
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 11th, 2010 )

The Rise and Fall of Super Town
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 31st, 2010 )

The Antietam Whore
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 17th, 2010 )

After the Zombies Came: Day 99
by ( Filed under Zombies, of or Relating to on April 26th, 2010 )

Will You Marry Me, Pukeface?
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 19th, 2010 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #46: March, 2010
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on April 15th, 2010 )

Vacation
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 12th, 2010 )

Hall Duty
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 5th, 2010 )

The Island
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 29th, 2010 )

Book Review: Tabloid Nation by John Schasny
by ( Filed under Books on March 22nd, 2010 )

Parade
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 11th, 2010 )

The Summer Julie Wrecked Her Pontiac
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 1st, 2010 )

Calamity People
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 18th, 2010 )

Football
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 21st, 2009 )

The Smell of Love, the Color of Happiness
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 14th, 2009 )

Wine and Salad
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 1st, 2009 )

Story by Jimmy Chen
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 26th, 2009 )

Through the Looking-Glass
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 22nd, 2009 )

This Particular Champion
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 15th, 2009 )

Crocodile Tears
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 8th, 2009 )

Detective Tish
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 23rd, 2009 )

Famous Writers Get Workshopped
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 21st, 2009 )

I Remember James Dean as Brought to You by Google and Other Haphazard Forms of Research, Speculation
by ( Filed under Commentary on September 17th, 2009 )

Just Ask James: Love
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on September 3rd, 2009 )

My Ex-Girlfriend’s Wedding Day
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 21st, 2009 )

Male Enhancement
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 11th, 2009 )

Bog
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 6th, 2009 )

Just Ask James: The Economy
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on August 3rd, 2009 )

Trinidad in Three Pieces
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 30th, 2009 )

Blades
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 29th, 2009 )

Emergency Contacts
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 25th, 2009 )

The Uninvited Guests
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 21st, 2009 )

Everyone Plays
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 8th, 2009 )

Just Ask James: Molested
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on May 26th, 2009 )

Alien
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 23rd, 2009 )

Imagined Scenarios of How My Life Will Go if You Dump Me
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 18th, 2009 )

Flying the Co-Op
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 9th, 2009 )

Standard Deviation
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 28th, 2009 )

It’s Not Really About the Plums
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 18th, 2009 )

How to Buy a House
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on March 13th, 2009 )

Sounds from Paradise
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 28th, 2009 )

David Mackey
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 16th, 2009 )

Unemployed
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 14th, 2009 )

Things to Consider Before Waking a Sleeping Bear
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 1st, 2009 )

Bad Hangover
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 30th, 2009 )

Just Ask James: Our New President
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on January 28th, 2009 )

Blurb
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 26th, 2009 )

Downturn: A Make Your Own Way Adventure
by ( Filed under Commentary on January 23rd, 2009 )

The Soccer Ball
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 10th, 2009 )

Fishie’s Last Rites
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 28th, 2008 )

Just Ask James: Perplexed
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on December 24th, 2008 )

Subway Imitator
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 15th, 2008 )

Sugar Sugar
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 1st, 2008 )

Patches
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 24th, 2008 )

The Thing About Elephants
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on November 17th, 2008 )

On the Side
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 10th, 2008 )

This Isn’t Me — I’ve Never Been to a “Doctor”
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 3rd, 2008 )

Just Ask James: Confused
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on October 28th, 2008 )

In Recent News…
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on October 13th, 2008 )

End of February
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 30th, 2008 )

Eclipse
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 25th, 2008 )

Curtains
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 23rd, 2008 )

Drinking: The International Bar, Re-Animated
by ( Filed under Drinking on September 18th, 2008 )

A Boiling Fuzz
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 16th, 2008 )

[An early chapter of an unnamed novel]
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 5th, 2008 )

lol
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 2nd, 2008 )

And Who Exactly Are The Freaks [Who] Come Out At Night, Whodini?
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 29th, 2008 )

The Ornish Drive Chicken House
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 28th, 2008 )

Don’t Kid
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 26th, 2008 )

The Tree-Toucher, the Mumbler and the Naked Lady
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 16th, 2008 )

Baited
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 5th, 2008 )

The Ancient Art of Kathak
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 1st, 2008 )

The Three Past and Future Spouses of Carmen Electra Debate the Placement of the A‑sharp
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 29th, 2008 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #45: April, May, & June, 2008
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on June 24th, 2008 )

To Catch an Editor
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 13th, 2008 )

A Sorcery Swan Song
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 5th, 2008 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #44: March, 2008
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on April 28th, 2008 )

The Drop
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 8th, 2008 )

The Apartment Security Man
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 26th, 2008 )

Bunny Ears
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 19th, 2008 )

The Parade
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 10th, 2008 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #43: February, 2008
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on March 1st, 2008 )

The Battery Lickers
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 22nd, 2008 )

Lottery Tickets Reviewed: Quick Crossword
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on February 20th, 2008 )

Sunday Morning
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 19th, 2008 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #42: January, 2008
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on February 1st, 2008 )

The Souls, The Bodies
by ( Filed under Commentary on January 27th, 2008 )

Smoke and the Unventilated
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 3rd, 2008 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #41: December, 2007
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on January 1st, 2008 )

Kits, Cats, Sacks, Wives
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 29th, 2007 )

Lotta Grows Up
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 21st, 2007 )

Lottery Tickets Reviewed: Merry Music
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on December 11th, 2007 )

This is Exactly What I Ate
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 3rd, 2007 )

Charlie’s Pencil has Soccer Balls on It
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 29th, 2007 )

After the Zombies Came: Day 8
by ( Filed under Zombies, of or Relating to on November 23rd, 2007 )

A Five Letter Word for Rabbit Fur
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 10th, 2007 )

Three Nightmares
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on October 31st, 2007 )

My Father’s Bloomsday
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 29th, 2007 )

Talking about Maybe
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 24th, 2007 )

The Shower Fixture
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 6th, 2007 )

Variegated: Many colored (adj.)
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 27th, 2007 )

Life Teaching Anecdotes of an Exalted Wise Man
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 24th, 2007 )

Roger Starts an Omelet
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 18th, 2007 )

After the Zombies Came: Day 12
by ( Filed under Zombies, of or Relating to on September 15th, 2007 )

Review: Wendy’s “Baconator”
by ( Filed under Food on September 12th, 2007 )

Happy Birthday, Ann
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 12th, 2007 )

The Claw Machine
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 9th, 2007 )

At Home
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 6th, 2007 )

From a Hole in the Ice
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 3rd, 2007 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #40: August, 2007
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on September 1st, 2007 )

After The Zombies Came: Day 121
by ( Filed under Zombies, of or Relating to on August 14th, 2007 )

Say, What Ever Happened To Vidal Sassoon?
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 8th, 2007 )

Treasure: Miniature Chocolate Bars with Liposuction Brochure
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on August 4th, 2007 )

The Night Gardener
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 24th, 2007 )

Telepathy
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 10th, 2007 )

Excerpts from the Cancer Ward
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 8th, 2007 )

Expiration
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on June 17th, 2007 )

Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers # 5
by ( Filed under Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers on June 16th, 2007 )

What It’s Like to Be Poisoned
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 10th, 2007 )

Film: Advantage Media’s Sexual Harassment: Serious Business
by ( Filed under Films on June 5th, 2007 )

Japanese Personal Ads Whose Questionable English Makes Me Doubt their Supposed Origins, # 2
by ( Filed under Commentary on May 30th, 2007 )

The Metamorphosis of Love
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 29th, 2007 )

Organically Red
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 26th, 2007 )

August 11th, 2003: The Day Bruce Springsteen Ran Out of Inane Childhood Stories to Talk About Before Starting a New Song
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 22nd, 2007 )

Japanese Personal Ads Whose Questionable English Makes Me Doubt their Supposed Origins, # 1
by ( Filed under Commentary on May 10th, 2007 )

Drill
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 5th, 2007 )

Taco Fairy
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 2nd, 2007 )

A Technically, Theoretically, and Politically Perfect Story, or What Remains after Many Years of Extensive, Intensive, Sensitive, Open-Minded Workshops, Peer Edits, Community Critiques (Constructive and Otherwise), and Helpful Suggestions from All Ages, Disabilities, Pay Scales, National Origins, Pregnancy-Related Situations, Races, Religions, Belief and Unbelief Systems, Genders, Weights, Body Types, Hair and Eye Pigments, Fingernail Lengths, Follicular Endowments, Breast Sizes, Foot Odor and Halitosis Levels, Predisposed Temperaments, Brain Chemical Balances and Imbalances, Svelte Rabbits, Blood Types, and Last but by No Means Least (Remember the Old Saying, The Last Shall be First), Gross Annual Earwax Production Levels
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 24th, 2007 )

Lottery Tickets Reviewed: Mother’s Day Doubler
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on April 15th, 2007 )

The Survivors Catalog Their Collective Knowledge
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 12th, 2007 )

Lottery Tickets Reviewed: Shamrock Tripler
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on March 31st, 2007 )

Nativity
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 23rd, 2007 )

Wide
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 20th, 2007 )

What You Do When You’re Not Doing This
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 13th, 2007 )

Kent Torokvei: Pervert?
by ( Filed under Realer Genius on March 7th, 2007 )

The Sleeper
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 5th, 2007 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #39: February, 2007
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on March 4th, 2007 )

Potential Titles In the Potential Real Genius Canon
by ( Filed under Realer Genius on February 27th, 2007 )

Treasure: Kansas Intelligent Design Evolution Textbook
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on February 20th, 2007 )

Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers # 4
by ( Filed under Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers on February 18th, 2007 )

Jody
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 17th, 2007 )

Diary Entry for Feb. 14th, 2008
by ( Filed under Letters on February 13th, 2007 )

Film: American Bar
by ( Filed under Films on February 12th, 2007 )

Book Review: Against The Day, Thomas Pynchon
by ( Filed under Books on February 3rd, 2007 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #38: January, 2007
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on February 1st, 2007 )

Ingredients In Many Brand Name Toothpastes that Could Be Trendy Baby Names
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on January 25th, 2007 )

Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers # 3
by ( Filed under Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers on January 10th, 2007 )

Trying to Forget Your Girlfriend
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 4th, 2007 )

Lottery Tickets Reviewed: Tic Tac Turkey
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on January 2nd, 2007 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #37: November & December, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on December 31st, 2006 )

Money-Back Guarantee
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 27th, 2006 )

Film: Sex, Love & Z‑Parts
by ( Filed under Films on December 25th, 2006 )

Christmas Pictured
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 24th, 2006 )

The Dream of Giraffe
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 11th, 2006 )

Snapshots From New Zealand
by ( Filed under Photographs on December 7th, 2006 )

Letter from the Editor [of a Stuffy Literary Review]
by ( Filed under Letters on November 21st, 2006 )

Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers # 2
by ( Filed under Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers on November 16th, 2006 )

Warm and Fuzzy Thoughts
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 9th, 2006 )

Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers # 1
by ( Filed under Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers on November 1st, 2006 )

Holiday Announcement
by ( Filed under Fiction & Letters on October 27th, 2006 )

Flour Moth/Luna Moth
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 26th, 2006 )

Review: Fred Bassett comic from the October 23rd Kansas City Star
by ( Filed under Comics on October 23rd, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #36: October, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on October 21st, 2006 )

A Crumb In My Penis ( from The Opposite of Possible )
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 21st, 2006 )

Canadian Ballet
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 13th, 2006 )

Review: Verdange California Shiraz (2003)
by ( Filed under Drinking on October 9th, 2006 )

Prehensile
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 27th, 2006 )

Tu Quoque
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 24th, 2006 )

The Heavy Year
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 20th, 2006 )

Long Story Short: Yurig and the Most Sacred of Eggs
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 30th, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #35: July, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on August 26th, 2006 )

Cattle Drive
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 11th, 2006 )

Dragged On
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 21st, 2006 )

Fulci’s Bakery
by ( Filed under Fiction & Zombies, of or Relating to on July 15th, 2006 )

The Voice
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 7th, 2006 )

The Price of Gas
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 2nd, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #34: June, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on July 2nd, 2006 )

After The Zombies Came: Day 31
by ( Filed under Fiction & Zombies, of or Relating to on June 16th, 2006 )

Saturday Night Live
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on June 16th, 2006 )

Dieting with Jesus
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 13th, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #33: April & May, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on June 5th, 2006 )

Specs
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 3rd, 2006 )

Adventures with My Roommate: MySpace Man, Part I
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on May 11th, 2006 )

Adventures With My Roommate: MySpace Man, Part II
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on May 11th, 2006 )

Adventures With My Roommate: MySpace Man, Part III
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on May 11th, 2006 )

In the News # 3
by ( Filed under Dispatches on May 10th, 2006 )

Plan X
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on May 3rd, 2006 )

Boondock 7–11
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 2nd, 2006 )

In the News Again
by ( Filed under Dispatches on May 2nd, 2006 )

A Field Trip for Feldspar
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 29th, 2006 )

Upwardly Mobile
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 27th, 2006 )

The Shape of Destruction
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 19th, 2006 )

Applied Contemporary Thinking
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 13th, 2006 )

How Man Came to Know that the Merilles Fish was Poisonous and Inedible
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 9th, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #32: March, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on April 2nd, 2006 )

Is As Was
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 19th, 2006 )

Johnny America Recommends St. Patrick’s Day Products
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on March 11th, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #31: February, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on March 11th, 2006 )

Elements of Destruction
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 14th, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #30: January, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on February 13th, 2006 )

The Fifth of July
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 6th, 2006 )

Toward a Sociology of the Sport Spectator: A Rare and Patented Argument (Part Three of Three)
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 5th, 2006 )

Toward a Sociology of the Sport Spectator: A Rare and Patented Argument (Part Two of Three)
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 3rd, 2006 )

Toward a Sociology of the Sport Spectator: A Rare and Patented Argument (Part One of Three)
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 1st, 2006 )

Truth
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 28th, 2006 )

Letter to Betty J
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 19th, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #29: December, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on January 7th, 2006 )

The Shape of Things
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 2nd, 2006 )

Help Around the House
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 29th, 2005 )

Sewn Up
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 23rd, 2005 )

Johnny America’s Holiday Gift Ideas
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on December 19th, 2005 )

He Was an Ass, Man
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 14th, 2005 )

Cocktail: “The Moon Rabbit”
by ( Filed under Drinking on December 10th, 2005 )

Adventures with My Roommate: Christmas
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on December 8th, 2005 )

Faking It
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 25th, 2005 )

Magic Bullet
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 22nd, 2005 )

Hampton Inn Room 306
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 19th, 2005 )

Acceptable Reasons that Aaron Grill Might Provide for Blowing Me Off Last Night
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on November 15th, 2005 )

Methods My Roommate Patrick Giroux Uses to Psychologically Torture Me
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on November 15th, 2005 )

The Hours Before Morning
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 4th, 2005 )

But What Are You So Afraid Of?
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on November 1st, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #28: October, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on November 1st, 2005 )

The 7th Day
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on October 19th, 2005 )

Lottery Tickets Reviewed: Crocodile Cash
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on October 9th, 2005 )

An Untitled Story about Spaceships
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 6th, 2005 )

Little Redfern’s Trip to the Supermarket
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 5th, 2005 )

Inspirations
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 2nd, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #27: September, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on October 1st, 2005 )

Documentary History
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 29th, 2005 )

Opening Scene of a Story Tentatively Titled “Stevie Buys Some Fudgsicles”
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 16th, 2005 )

See, Do
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 14th, 2005 )

What’s on? Shop at Home Network
by ( Filed under Commentary on September 10th, 2005 )

Review: Burger King Chicken Fries
by ( Filed under Food on September 9th, 2005 )

Rebound and Bound We Go
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on September 6th, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #26: August, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on September 1st, 2005 )

Dallas Underground
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on September 1st, 2005 )

The Cure for Nudity
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 31st, 2005 )

Ligament Sandwich
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 26th, 2005 )

Treasure: Vera Stravinsky’s Candy
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on August 25th, 2005 )

Where The Voice Begins
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on August 20th, 2005 )

The Imminent Arrival of Gargantua
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 17th, 2005 )

Just Ask James: The Big Question
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on August 12th, 2005 )

Things Jay Holley Left in my Home after Visiting for Two Days
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on August 8th, 2005 )

After The Zombies Came: Day 22
by ( Filed under Fiction & Zombies, of or Relating to on August 5th, 2005 )

That Guy with the Handlebar Mustache
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 3rd, 2005 )

More Sweat in Peacetime, Less Blood in War
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 3rd, 2005 )

Dialed Calls
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 1st, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #25: July, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on August 1st, 2005 )

The Day After Doris & Janette’s End of the World Party
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 28th, 2005 )

My Name is not Marty, My Name is not Stacey
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 13th, 2005 )

Truth in Advertising
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 11th, 2005 )

After the Zombies Came: Day 14
by ( Filed under Fiction & Zombies, of or Relating to on July 1st, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #24: June, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on July 1st, 2005 )

My Telekinetic Powers: Day 8 After Their Mysterious Appearance
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 19th, 2005 )

Last Day of School
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 11th, 2005 )

In the News
by ( Filed under Dispatches on June 7th, 2005 )

You Are There: (Bern, Switzerland) Bärengraben
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 3rd, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #23: May, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on June 1st, 2005 )

What’s on? Home Shopping Network
by ( Filed under Commentary on May 30th, 2005 )

The Breakfast Sandwich Plan and the Long Drive
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 21st, 2005 )

Personal Gifts
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 6th, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #22: April, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on May 1st, 2005 )

Omega Boy
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 29th, 2005 )

The Very Painful Suicide of Dr. Philip Lyxzen
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 27th, 2005 )

Neighborhood Association
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 23rd, 2005 )

Palmate Antlers for Bullwinkle
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 18th, 2005 )

It was Extraordinarily Human
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 11th, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #21: March, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on April 9th, 2005 )

Al Taller
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 8th, 2005 )

Opening Scene from a ‘B’ Novella Tentatively Titled Benny Hits the Slots
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 7th, 2005 )

Marty’s Day Off
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 2nd, 2005 )

Advance Praise for The Author’s Healthy Ego
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 26th, 2005 )

Manifesto for Air-Guitar
by ( Filed under Commentary on March 17th, 2005 )

Why I Hate My Roommate’s Pet Dog
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on March 11th, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #20: February, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on March 1st, 2005 )

Golden Venture
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 22nd, 2005 )

Questions Writers of the S.A.T. Might Ask Themselves While Pondering the 2004 Academy Awards Acting Nominees
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 21st, 2005 )

Thoughts while in Teddy Wicklund’s Chair of Dentistry
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 14th, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #19: January 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on February 11th, 2005 )

Survey
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 10th, 2005 )

Just Ask James: On the Love of Corpses
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on February 8th, 2005 )

Letter of the Week: # 4
by ( Filed under Letters on January 26th, 2005 )

Just Ask James: Ruthenium
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on January 22nd, 2005 )

He Loves, They Struggle
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 18th, 2005 )

Another Perspective: Magic
by ( Filed under Commentary on January 14th, 2005 )

Sassy T.‘s Hygiene Corner
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on January 14th, 2005 )

Proposal for a Michael Jackson Studies department at the University of Kansas
by ( Filed under Letters on January 10th, 2005 )

Film: Closer
by ( Filed under Films on January 9th, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #18: December, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on January 1st, 2005 )

The Worst Gift I Received This Year
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on December 29th, 2004 )

Just Ask James: Letter from a Would-Be Man
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on December 23rd, 2004 )

To the Creators of Comedic Dance Moves
by ( Filed under Letters on December 15th, 2004 )

Letter to the Chorus of ‘FAME’ Years After I Sang Along to It With All My Heart
by ( Filed under Letters on December 6th, 2004 )

Books You Should Read Tomorrow
by ( Filed under Books on December 4th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #17: November, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on December 1st, 2004 )

Ghosts
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 28th, 2004 )

Book Review: The Missing Rock Star Caper by R. Parker McVey
by ( Filed under Books on November 21st, 2004 )

Just Ask James: Small Penis
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on November 19th, 2004 )

When I Draw Maps
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on November 15th, 2004 )

Letter to a Stranger
by ( Filed under Letters on November 7th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #16: October, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on November 1st, 2004 )

Autos Erotic
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 24th, 2004 )

Lessons Learned From the Film Ladder 49
by ( Filed under Films on October 18th, 2004 )

I Like…
by ( Filed under Dispatches on October 17th, 2004 )

R. I. P.
by ( Filed under Dispatches on October 12th, 2004 )

William Shatner’s Has Been
by ( Filed under Music on October 7th, 2004 )

Jake Brown
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 6th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #15: September, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on October 1st, 2004 )

Notes from James Spillane Involving Spaghetti Westerns and Football
by ( Filed under Commentary on September 21st, 2004 )

Mandy’s Legs
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 20th, 2004 )

Definition: Hobosexual
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on September 15th, 2004 )

Treasure: Abandoned Moment
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on September 13th, 2004 )

Some Beds I’ve Slept In, Part Two
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on September 11th, 2004 )

Review: Hillcrest Elementary School Cafeteria
by ( Filed under Food on September 6th, 2004 )

Bitter Bunny
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 6th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #14: August, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on September 1st, 2004 )

To Some of the Men I Buy Coffee from in the Mornings
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on August 30th, 2004 )

Aaron Grill: An Abbreviated Biography
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on August 21st, 2004 )

Some Beds I’ve Slept In, Part One
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on August 19th, 2004 )

The Truth About Death
by ( Filed under Letters on August 12th, 2004 )

Comments on New York City Subway Advertising
by ( Filed under Commentary on August 12th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #13: July, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on August 1st, 2004 )

Suicide Girls Burlesque Show
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on July 31st, 2004 )

The Moment When My Friend Emily Lawton and S.N.L. Alumnus Jimmy Fallon Fell in Love
by ( Filed under Comics on July 30th, 2004 )

For Whom The Bell Cricket Tolls
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 29th, 2004 )

Ron
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on July 28th, 2004 )

The Hairy Elbow
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 23rd, 2004 )

Three Letters Inspired by a Recent Trip to the Amusement Park
by ( Filed under Letters on July 13th, 2004 )

Letter to My Deceased Dungeons and Dragons Character, Who I Ordered Into Certain Doom
by ( Filed under Letters on July 2nd, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #12: June, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on July 1st, 2004 )

Book Review: Cajun Sexy Cookin’
by ( Filed under Books on June 28th, 2004 )

My Sister, Part Six
by ( Filed under Writer X's Sister on June 28th, 2004 )

KFC Dale, Jr. Collectible Bucket
by ( Filed under Dispatches on June 28th, 2004 )

Book Review: Life of Pi by Yann Martel
by ( Filed under Books on June 25th, 2004 )

Romance/Missing Persons: WE MET BY THE NACHOS
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 24th, 2004 )

Treasure: Lure of the Limerick
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on June 9th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #11: May, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on June 1st, 2004 )

Review: International Bar
by ( Filed under Drinking on May 27th, 2004 )

Dear Liver
by ( Filed under Letters on May 27th, 2004 )

Review: Real Life Adventures comic from the May 24th New York Post
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 24th, 2004 )

My Sister, Part Five
by ( Filed under Writer X's Sister on May 19th, 2004 )

Album Review: Let It Be… Naked
by ( Filed under Music on May 19th, 2004 )

My Sister, Part Four
by ( Filed under Writer X's Sister on May 12th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #10: April, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on May 1st, 2004 )

Review: Dennis the Menace Comic from the April 28th New York Post
by ( Filed under Comics on April 29th, 2004 )

The Modern Encore
by ( Filed under Commentary on April 29th, 2004 )

Select Photos From a Walk Over the Brooklyn Bridge, Around the City, then Back to Brooklyn
by ( Filed under Photographs on April 17th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #9: March, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on April 1st, 2004 )

John Travolta Microphone Dance Boy
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 1st, 2004 )

Treasure: Found Snapshots
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on March 29th, 2004 )

Film: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
by ( Filed under Films on March 23rd, 2004 )

Fifteen-Second Theatre # 1
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 22nd, 2004 )

Robin Watching Airplanes
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 13th, 2004 )

Letter of the Week: Brunette & Beagle
by ( Filed under Letters on March 9th, 2004 )

This Shenago
by ( Filed under Drinking on March 9th, 2004 )

Bugboy
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 8th, 2004 )

Another Perspective: Drinking at Work
by ( Filed under Commentary on March 8th, 2004 )

Various Addresses
by ( Filed under Dispatches on March 8th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #8: February, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on March 1st, 2004 )

Treasure: Bluejay
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on February 27th, 2004 )

So You’re Playing G‑Unit Again?
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 26th, 2004 )

Negotiations With My Generous Friend Aaron Grill, Who Offers a Couch and a Blanket to Visitors, but Not His Sister
by ( Filed under Letters on February 24th, 2004 )

AOL Instant Messenger Conversation: Summer Plans
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 20th, 2004 )

Playing Hooky
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 19th, 2004 )

Just Add Water
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 17th, 2004 )

Aunt Jemima by Andy Warhol
by ( Filed under Art on February 10th, 2004 )

Animal in Man
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 4th, 2004 )

Things I Thought of Today
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 3rd, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #7: January, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on February 1st, 2004 )

An Autobiographical Account
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 27th, 2004 )

Bundle of His
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 24th, 2004 )

My Sister, Part Three
by ( Filed under Writer X's Sister on January 23rd, 2004 )

Romance/Missing Persons: AT THE PUMP
by ( Filed under Letters on January 22nd, 2004 )

Conversation Overheard on #1 Subway Train, as Result of Announcement “There is Another Train Directly Behind This One,” During a Crowded Time
by ( Filed under Dispatches on January 22nd, 2004 )

Squeaky
by ( Filed under Commentary on January 21st, 2004 )

Actual Transcript of my Conversation with a New Employee, on His First Day of Work
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on January 21st, 2004 )

First Sentence of a Story Titled “Max’s Exploding Goldfish or My Life as a Zookeeper”
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 19th, 2004 )

Letter of the Week: “i love pigeons too”
by ( Filed under Letters on January 13th, 2004 )

My Sister, Part Two
by ( Filed under Writer X's Sister on January 11th, 2004 )

Infinite Distaste
by ( Filed under Books on January 8th, 2004 )

My Sister, Part One
by ( Filed under Writer X's Sister on January 5th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #6: December, 2003
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on January 1st, 2004 )

Four Additional Letters
by ( Filed under Letters on December 30th, 2003 )

Soy Peanuts and Tim’s Stomach Ache
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 22nd, 2003 )

An Evening at the Bourgeois Pig and Some Thoughts About Ben Affleck
by ( Filed under Drinking on December 22nd, 2003 )

The New McNuggets
by ( Filed under Food on December 18th, 2003 )

Dear B.M.G. Music Service Collection Department
by ( Filed under Letters on December 15th, 2003 )

The Day of the Candy Shower
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 11th, 2003 )

Excerpts From the Diary of Armin Meiwes
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 6th, 2003 )

Ask Jermaine Dupri: Question From A White Boy
by ( Filed under Ask Jermaine Dupri on December 4th, 2003 )

Packin From Age Zero
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on December 4th, 2003 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #5: November, 2003
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on December 1st, 2003 )

Evan’s Literary Interests At Age Thirteen
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 26th, 2003 )

Four Letters
by ( Filed under Letters on November 20th, 2003 )

Excerpt from my Novel, Currently Titled Skillet Blow to the Head
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 14th, 2003 )

The Assasination of Timaz Bendoll
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 8th, 2003 )

Let Me Tell of My Love of Pigeons
by ( Filed under Commentary on November 3rd, 2003 )

Funny Time In The Night
by ( Filed under Drinking on November 3rd, 2003 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #4: October, 2003
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on November 1st, 2003 )

A Rigorous Analysis of The Alphabet
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on October 21st, 2003 )

Ask Jermaine Dupri
by ( Filed under Ask Jermaine Dupri on October 17th, 2003 )

Magdalena Vega
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on October 7th, 2003 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #3: September, 2003
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on October 1st, 2003 )

Last Paragraph of Unwritten Novel of the Contemporary Ironic Self-Aware Type
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 23rd, 2003 )

Film: Matchstick Men
by ( Filed under Films on September 18th, 2003 )

Match.com Player
by ( Filed under Commentary on September 10th, 2003 )

Sylvie Brings Over a Can of Tuna
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 5th, 2003 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #2: August, 2003
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on September 1st, 2003 )

A Poem I Wanted to Share With My Friends
by ( Filed under Poetry on August 24th, 2003 )

The First Three Sentences of an Unfinished Choose-Your-Own Adventure Story Which Will Involve Chinese Food, A Truck Exploding, and a Brawl in Which Rocko Gets Hit on the Head with an Eggplant
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 20th, 2003 )

Picture of a Hipster
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 14th, 2003 )

Film: Solaris
by ( Filed under Films on August 14th, 2003 )

Some Nicknames I Have Been Called at Work, in Approximate Descending Order of Frequency
by ( Filed under Dispatches on August 5th, 2003 )

Oliver Not Calling (partial scene)
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 4th, 2003 )

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #1: July, 2003
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on August 1st, 2003 )

The Stink of Burning Mattress
by ( Filed under Dispatches on July 30th, 2003 )

I Can’t Deal With Goth Highschoolers
by ( Filed under Commentary on July 28th, 2003 )

Jessica Goes Shopping
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 25th, 2003 )

Happy Boy Margarine
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on July 20th, 2003 )

Film: The Matrix Reloaded
by ( Filed under Films on July 16th, 2003 )

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (5 of 5)
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 13th, 2003 )

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (4 of 5)
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 11th, 2003 )

Book Review: CivilWarLand in Bad Decline by George Saunders
by ( Filed under Books on July 10th, 2003 )

My Top 10 NYC Bars, in Approximate Ascending Order
by ( Filed under Drinking on July 9th, 2003 )

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (3 of 5)
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 8th, 2003 )

Film: A.I. Artificial Intelligence
by ( Filed under Films on July 6th, 2003 )

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (2 of 5)
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 4th, 2003 )

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (1 of 5)
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 3rd, 2003 )

Oliver Buys Film (Partial Scene)
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 3rd, 2003 )

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