Johnny America

 

This is It

Our Complete Archives, Sorted and Sordid

Pan Gets an Email Address
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 16th, 2024 )

They Came from Out­er Space
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 2nd, 2024 )

Up to No Good
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 19th, 2024 )

Script
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 5th, 2024 )

Refugee in Riverside
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 22nd, 2023 )

We Love Your Grief But We Have Some Notes
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 8th, 2023 )

A Coup de Théâtre
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 17th, 2023 )

A Fine Line
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 3rd, 2023 )

A Miss Is As Good as a Mile
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 20th, 2023 )

Your Own Kind of Famous
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 6th, 2023 )

Izels, from the Book of Misunderstandings
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 22nd, 2023 )

Our La­dy of Cibo
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 8th, 2023 )

The Oth­er Dave
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 25th, 2023 )

He Joined the A‑Team
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 11th, 2023 )

Blun­der, New J. A. Print Zine, New Eli S. Evans Book
by ( Filed under Dispatches on July 28th, 2023 )

The Uri­nal and Me
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 14th, 2023 )

Hold­ing the Bag
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 30th, 2023 )

Un­flushed Toilet
by ( Filed under Commentary on June 16th, 2023 )

Day Off
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 2nd, 2023 )

A Fu­ner­al, from the Book of Misunderstandings
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 19th, 2023 )

Raphael
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 5th, 2023 )

Tan Man
by ( Filed under Commentary on April 21st, 2023 )

The Rab­bit’s Foot
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 7th, 2023 )

Re­gret
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 24th, 2023 )

Ever Small­er Sunsets
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 10th, 2023 )

Lot­tery Tick­ets Re­viewed: Fire & Ice
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on February 10th, 2023 )

Bo­lo and Snag
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 27th, 2023 )

Re­ject­ed New York­er Car­toons: “Just a Splash”
by ( Filed under Comics on December 30th, 2022 )

At the Of­fice, from the Book of Misunderstandings
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 16th, 2022 )

This Bag­gage Has Baggage
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 2nd, 2022 )

Too Much Pot Pie?
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 18th, 2022 )

A Band­wag­on
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 4th, 2022 )

Lot­tery Tick­ets Re­viewed: Cos­mic Cash
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on October 21st, 2022 )

My Treat
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 7th, 2022 )

Tun­nel Man
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 9th, 2022 )

Two Sto­ries Across from the Cemetery
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 26th, 2022 )

The En­cy­clo­pe­dia of Se­r­i­al Killers
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 12th, 2022 )

Hap­py Place
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 29th, 2022 )

He Said, She Said
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 1st, 2022 )

My Glau­cous Umbrella
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 17th, 2022 )

Bee Sting
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 3rd, 2022 )

Killer
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 20th, 2022 )

Sloan ♥ Neckface
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 1st, 2022 )

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 11th, 2022 )

Lot­tery Tick­ets Re­viewed: Elvis
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on February 4th, 2022 )

A Peren­ni­al Grievance
by ( Filed under Commentary on January 21st, 2022 )

Lot­tery Tick­ets Re­viewed: Per­fect Gift
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on December 24th, 2021 )

Light­ing Out
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 26th, 2021 )

J. A. Rec­om­mends: the Red Hand Files
by ( Filed under Commentary & Music on November 12th, 2021 )

Ansel Adams Has Acne
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 1st, 2021 )

Horse In­sem­i­na­tor
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 24th, 2021 )

Stick­er Sight­ing: Shored­itch, London
by ( Filed under Dispatches on August 20th, 2021 )

Sav­ing the Music
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 6th, 2021 )

Mat­inée
by ( Filed under Commentary on July 23rd, 2021 )

Mis­takes Were Made: Beam
by ( Filed under Mistakes Were Made on July 9th, 2021 )

J.A. Quar­ter­ly Re­tort: Spring 2021
by ( Filed under Dispatches on July 5th, 2021 )

A Farewell
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 25th, 2021 )

At the Zoo
by ( Filed under Commentary on June 11th, 2021 )

Per­fect Day
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 28th, 2021 )

Sur­prise Party
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 7th, 2021 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #55: 2020
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on April 23rd, 2021 )

An­oth­er Round
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 2nd, 2021 )

Hot Fig­ure
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 19th, 2021 )

Lot­tery Tick­ets Re­viewed: Star Trek
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on March 5th, 2021 )

Grace­land
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 12th, 2021 )

Ob­scure & Irregular
by ( Filed under Dispatches on February 11th, 2021 )

8 A.M.
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 29th, 2021 )

Dop­pel­gängers
by ( Filed under Commentary on December 11th, 2020 )

I Wore My Red Ny­lon Short Shorts
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 27th, 2020 )

Salzburg
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 30th, 2020 )

Lunch­ables Re­viewed: Ex­tra Cheesy Pizza
by ( Filed under A Satanic Mechanic Reviews Lunchables on September 25th, 2020 )

Let­ters from the Laundromat
by ( Filed under Commentary on September 4th, 2020 )

John­ny Stickers
by ( Filed under Dispatches on August 31st, 2020 )

Some­one with Nothing
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 7th, 2020 )

Re­ject­ed New York­er Car­toons: “Ram­page”
by ( Filed under Comics on July 17th, 2020 )

Strange Times / Hot Dealz…
by ( Filed under Dispatches on June 26th, 2020 )

Lunch­ables Re­viewed: Chick­en Dunks
by ( Filed under A Satanic Mechanic Reviews Lunchables & Food on June 19th, 2020 )

Pro­file
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 12th, 2020 )

In the Kitchen at the Party
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 5th, 2020 )

These Hands
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 17th, 2020 )

The Foot­note is Part of the Story
by ( Filed under Dispatches on April 3rd, 2020 )

The Joy of Picking
by ( Filed under Dispatches on March 27th, 2020 )

Mat­inée
by ( Filed under Commentary on March 13th, 2020 )

Per­fect Day
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 28th, 2020 )

The War­riors
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 10th, 2020 )

Abid­ing Realism
by ( Filed under Films on December 27th, 2019 )

Ad­vent
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 6th, 2019 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #54: Fall, 2019
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on November 22nd, 2019 )

Com­fort
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 8th, 2019 )

Un­re­cov­er­able Sit­u­a­tions (pt. 1)
by ( Filed under Fiction & Serial on October 25th, 2019 )

Son of Blob
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 4th, 2019 )

The Year of Living
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 20th, 2019 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #53: Sum­mer, 2019
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on August 2nd, 2019 )

Friends of John­ny America
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 22nd, 2019 )

More Words I Did­n’t Use To­day, But Could Have
by ( Filed under Dispatches on June 28th, 2019 )

Words I Did­n’t Use To­day, But Could Have
by ( Filed under Dispatches on June 21st, 2019 )

Lot­tery Tick­ets Re­viewed: Powerball
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on June 14th, 2019 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #52: Win­ter, 2019
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on March 22nd, 2019 )

Cat Con­tract
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 8th, 2019 )

Honky Tonk Sue
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 22nd, 2019 )

Trum­ble’s Brother
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 25th, 2019 )

The Mi­nus World
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 11th, 2019 )

San­to D’A­lessan­dro Tags Himself
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 31st, 2018 )

A Step-By-Step Guide to Deal­ing with the Death of a Dog
by ( Filed under Commentary on February 24th, 2017 )

Lit­tle Known In­ci­dents that Changed All of Hu­man His­to­ry For­ev­er: “How Jon­ny Di­no Changed The World”
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 11th, 2016 )

In the Ab­sence of a Translator
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 26th, 2016 )

Tow­er of Babel
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 20th, 2015 )

Our Black Hole
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 3rd, 2015 )

The Copen­hagen Interpretation
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 19th, 2015 )

Class Con­flict
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 22nd, 2015 )

Rum Mon­key
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 8th, 2015 )

Hold On, We’re Go­ing Home
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 24th, 2015 )

Re­view: An Orc in Antwerp
by ( Filed under Books on April 10th, 2015 )

Pro­fes­sor Yan­nick Muller, The Man Who Be­came a Cat
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 27th, 2015 )

The Un­bear­able Light­ness of Be­ing a Mike’s Hard Lemonade
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 16th, 2015 )

Dai­ly Deformations
by ( Filed under Commentary on January 2nd, 2015 )

Pin­ball Wizard
by ( Filed under Commentary on November 28th, 2014 )

Swans
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 29th, 2014 )

A Ma­jor in Convenience
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 18th, 2014 )

Si­lence
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 27th, 2014 )

Pur­sued by a Bear
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 30th, 2014 )

Spam­bot Po­et­ry: The Sort­ed and Washed
by ( Filed under Poetry on May 16th, 2014 )

Skins Like Wet Paper
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 2nd, 2014 )

Sun­days Like Sand
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 18th, 2014 )

Amish Missed Connections
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on April 4th, 2014 )

My Love is Go­ing to My Love
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 7th, 2014 )

I Mar­ried a Lunatic
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 21st, 2014 )

Tur­tle Power
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 24th, 2014 )

The House that Arthur Neville Lives In
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 10th, 2014 )

Dead Bar­be­cue
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 27th, 2013 )

Spots of a Leopard
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 13th, 2013 )

Lisa
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 29th, 2013 )

Ad Hoc Hur­ri­cane Correspondent
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 15th, 2013 )

Old Man Wrote
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 1st, 2013 )

Forty-Five Sec­onds at an In­ter­sec­tion in Har­vard Square
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 4th, 2013 )

Cig­a­rettes, Ba­con, and Plates
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 20th, 2013 )

Basin Head
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 6th, 2013 )

Ex­cuse Me Sir, Could You Tell Me How To Get To Damascus?
by ( Filed under Commentary on August 30th, 2013 )

The Shirt Off His Back
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 23rd, 2013 )

Vine Street
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 2nd, 2013 )

M. Night Genius
by ( Filed under Realer Genius on May 28th, 2013 )

The Hu­man Pancake
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 12th, 2013 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #51: Feb­ru­ary, 2013
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on March 8th, 2013 )

Re­ject­ed New York­er Car­toons: “At the Doctor”
by ( Filed under Comics on November 2nd, 2012 )

The Last Minoan
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 30th, 2012 )

Let’s Frame the Picture
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 12th, 2012 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #50: No­vem­ber, 2011
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on December 9th, 2011 )

Death in Silverprint
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 2nd, 2011 )

The Pink Missive
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 30th, 2011 )

The Mak­ings of Our Story
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 16th, 2011 )

The Con­ven­tion­eer
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 2nd, 2011 )

My Psy­chic Life Coach
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 26th, 2011 )

The Fine Line
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 19th, 2011 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #49: Ju­ly, 2011
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on August 12th, 2011 )

Ex Ni­hi­lo
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 29th, 2011 )

Pop­si­cle Stick Joke First Drafts
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on June 17th, 2011 )

Scare­crow and Zombie
by ( Filed under Zombies, of or Relating to on May 22nd, 2011 )

Two Let­ters
by ( Filed under Letters on May 14th, 2011 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #48: April, 2011
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on April 29th, 2011 )

The Chil­dren Smell of Gaso­line and Smoke
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 22nd, 2011 )

Neck­beard
by ( Filed under Commentary on April 15th, 2011 )

Deep­er
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 1st, 2011 )

There’s Noth­ing Wrong with Hav­ing a Drink of Wa­ter, Now and Again
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 25th, 2011 )

A Boy Who Looks Like Hors­es, or A Horse Who Looks Like Boys
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 4th, 2011 )

Lunch at the K‑18 Café
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 25th, 2011 )

Caveat
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 18th, 2011 )

100 Miles From Memphis
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 11th, 2011 )

All the Im­por­tant Days of the Sec­ond Grade and Some Re­cess­es Too
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 4th, 2011 )

Af­ter You
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 28th, 2011 )

Ad­ven­tures in the District
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 31st, 2010 )

Hair Gel Kid
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 24th, 2010 )

The Sedan
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 17th, 2010 )

Gup­ta
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 10th, 2010 )

Cold Fu­sion
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 3rd, 2010 )

Skin Guard Technology
by ( Filed under Commentary on November 19th, 2010 )

Sines­tra
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 12th, 2010 )

Zany: A Schol­ar­ly Inquiry
by ( Filed under Commentary on November 5th, 2010 )

The Lit­tle Bitch
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 14th, 2010 )

The Man Upstairs
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 2nd, 2010 )

Trea­sure: World’s Largest Ball of Twine
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on August 16th, 2010 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #47: June, 2010
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on July 19th, 2010 )

The Clash
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 5th, 2010 )

Ten Mem­o­ries of John Wood­en (RIP coach)
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 11th, 2010 )

The Rise and Fall of Su­per Town
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 31st, 2010 )

The Anti­etam Whore
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 17th, 2010 )

Af­ter the Zom­bies Came: Day 99
by ( Filed under Zombies, of or Relating to on April 26th, 2010 )

Will You Mar­ry Me, Pukeface?
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 19th, 2010 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #46: March, 2010
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on April 15th, 2010 )

Va­ca­tion
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 12th, 2010 )

Hall Du­ty
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 5th, 2010 )

The Is­land
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 29th, 2010 )

Book Re­view: Tabloid Na­tion by John Schasny
by ( Filed under Books on March 22nd, 2010 )

Pa­rade
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 11th, 2010 )

The Sum­mer Julie Wrecked Her Pontiac
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 1st, 2010 )

Calami­ty People
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 18th, 2010 )

Foot­ball
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 21st, 2009 )

The Smell of Love, the Col­or of Happiness
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 14th, 2009 )

Wine and Salad
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 1st, 2009 )

Sto­ry by Jim­my Chen
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 26th, 2009 )

Through the Looking-Glass
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 22nd, 2009 )

This Par­tic­u­lar Champion
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 15th, 2009 )

Croc­o­dile Tears
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 8th, 2009 )

De­tec­tive Tish
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 23rd, 2009 )

Fa­mous Writ­ers Get Workshopped
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 21st, 2009 )

I Re­mem­ber James Dean as Brought to You by Google and Oth­er Hap­haz­ard Forms of Re­search, Speculation
by ( Filed under Commentary on September 17th, 2009 )

Just Ask James: Love
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on September 3rd, 2009 )

My Ex-Girl­friend’s Wed­ding Day
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 21st, 2009 )

Male En­hance­ment
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 11th, 2009 )

Bog
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 6th, 2009 )

Just Ask James: The Economy
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on August 3rd, 2009 )

Trinidad in Three Pieces
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 30th, 2009 )

Blades
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 29th, 2009 )

Emer­gency Contacts
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 25th, 2009 )

The Un­in­vit­ed Guests
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 21st, 2009 )

Every­one Plays
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 8th, 2009 )

Just Ask James: Molested
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on May 26th, 2009 )

Alien
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 23rd, 2009 )

Imag­ined Sce­nar­ios of How My Life Will Go if You Dump Me
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 18th, 2009 )

Fly­ing the Co-Op
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 9th, 2009 )

Stan­dard Deviation
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 28th, 2009 )

It’s Not Re­al­ly About the Plums
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 18th, 2009 )

How to Buy a House
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on March 13th, 2009 )

Sounds from Paradise
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 28th, 2009 )

David Mack­ey
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 16th, 2009 )

Un­em­ployed
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 14th, 2009 )

Things to Con­sid­er Be­fore Wak­ing a Sleep­ing Bear
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 1st, 2009 )

Bad Hang­over
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 30th, 2009 )

Just Ask James: Our New President
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on January 28th, 2009 )

Blurb
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 26th, 2009 )

Down­turn: A Make Your Own Way Adventure
by ( Filed under Commentary on January 23rd, 2009 )

The Soc­cer Ball
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 10th, 2009 )

Fishie’s Last Rites
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 28th, 2008 )

Just Ask James: Perplexed
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on December 24th, 2008 )

Sub­way Imitator
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 15th, 2008 )

Sug­ar Sugar
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 1st, 2008 )

Patch­es
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 24th, 2008 )

The Thing About Elephants
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on November 17th, 2008 )

On the Side
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 10th, 2008 )

This Is­n’t Me — I’ve Nev­er Been to a “Doc­tor”
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 3rd, 2008 )

Just Ask James: Confused
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on October 28th, 2008 )

In Re­cent News…
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on October 13th, 2008 )

End of February
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 30th, 2008 )

Eclipse
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 25th, 2008 )

Cur­tains
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 23rd, 2008 )

Drink­ing: The In­ter­na­tion­al Bar, Re-Animated
by ( Filed under Drinking on September 18th, 2008 )

A Boil­ing Fuzz
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 16th, 2008 )

[An ear­ly chap­ter of an un­named novel]
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 5th, 2008 )

lol
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 2nd, 2008 )

And Who Ex­act­ly Are The Freaks [Who] Come Out At Night, Whodini?
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 29th, 2008 )

The Or­nish Dri­ve Chick­en House
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 28th, 2008 )

Don’t Kid
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 26th, 2008 )

The Tree-Touch­er, the Mum­bler and the Naked Lady
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 16th, 2008 )

Bait­ed
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 5th, 2008 )

The An­cient Art of Kathak
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 1st, 2008 )

The Three Past and Fu­ture Spous­es of Car­men Elec­tra De­bate the Place­ment of the A‑sharp
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 29th, 2008 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #45: April, May, & June, 2008
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on June 24th, 2008 )

To Catch an Editor
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 13th, 2008 )

A Sor­cery Swan Song
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 5th, 2008 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #44: March, 2008
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on April 28th, 2008 )

The Drop
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 8th, 2008 )

The Apart­ment Se­cu­ri­ty Man
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 26th, 2008 )

Bun­ny Ears
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 19th, 2008 )

The Pa­rade
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 10th, 2008 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #43: Feb­ru­ary, 2008
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on March 1st, 2008 )

The Bat­tery Lickers
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 22nd, 2008 )

Lot­tery Tick­ets Re­viewed: Quick Crossword
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on February 20th, 2008 )

Sun­day Morning
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 19th, 2008 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #42: Jan­u­ary, 2008
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on February 1st, 2008 )

The Souls, The Bodies
by ( Filed under Commentary on January 27th, 2008 )

Smoke and the Unventilated
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 3rd, 2008 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #41: De­cem­ber, 2007
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on January 1st, 2008 )

Kits, Cats, Sacks, Wives
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 29th, 2007 )

Lot­ta Grows Up
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 21st, 2007 )

Lot­tery Tick­ets Re­viewed: Mer­ry Music
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on December 11th, 2007 )

This is Ex­act­ly What I Ate
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 3rd, 2007 )

Char­lie’s Pen­cil has Soc­cer Balls on It
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 29th, 2007 )

Af­ter the Zom­bies Came: Day 8
by ( Filed under Zombies, of or Relating to on November 23rd, 2007 )

A Five Let­ter Word for Rab­bit Fur
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 10th, 2007 )

Three Night­mares
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on October 31st, 2007 )

My Fa­ther’s Bloomsday
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 29th, 2007 )

Talk­ing about Maybe
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 24th, 2007 )

The Show­er Fixture
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 6th, 2007 )

Var­ie­gat­ed: Many col­ored (adj.)
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 27th, 2007 )

Life Teach­ing Anec­dotes of an Ex­alt­ed Wise Man
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 24th, 2007 )

Roger Starts an Omelet
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 18th, 2007 )

Af­ter the Zom­bies Came: Day 12
by ( Filed under Zombies, of or Relating to on September 15th, 2007 )

Re­view: Wendy’s “Ba­cona­tor”
by ( Filed under Food on September 12th, 2007 )

Hap­py Birth­day, Ann
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 12th, 2007 )

The Claw Machine
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 9th, 2007 )

At Home
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 6th, 2007 )

From a Hole in the Ice
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 3rd, 2007 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #40: Au­gust, 2007
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on September 1st, 2007 )

Af­ter The Zom­bies Came: Day 121
by ( Filed under Zombies, of or Relating to on August 14th, 2007 )

Say, What Ever Hap­pened To Vi­dal Sassoon?
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 8th, 2007 )

Trea­sure: Minia­ture Choco­late Bars with Li­po­suc­tion Brochure
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on August 4th, 2007 )

The Night Gardener
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 24th, 2007 )

Telepa­thy
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 10th, 2007 )

Ex­cerpts from the Can­cer Ward
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 8th, 2007 )

Ex­pi­ra­tion
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on June 17th, 2007 )

Tom Conoboy Knows the An­swers # 5
by ( Filed under Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers on June 16th, 2007 )

What It’s Like to Be Poisoned
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 10th, 2007 )

Film: Ad­van­tage Me­di­a’s Sex­u­al Ha­rass­ment: Se­ri­ous Business
by ( Filed under Films on June 5th, 2007 )

Japan­ese Per­son­al Ads Whose Ques­tion­able Eng­lish Makes Me Doubt their Sup­posed Ori­gins, # 2
by ( Filed under Commentary on May 30th, 2007 )

The Meta­mor­pho­sis of Love
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 29th, 2007 )

Or­gan­i­cal­ly Red
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 26th, 2007 )

th, 2003: The Day Bruce Spring­steen Ran Out of Inane Child­hood Sto­ries to Talk About Be­fore Start­ing a New Song">Au­gust 11th, 2003: The Day Bruce Spring­steen Ran Out of Inane Child­hood Sto­ries to Talk About Be­fore Start­ing a New Song
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 22nd, 2007 )

Japan­ese Per­son­al Ads Whose Ques­tion­able Eng­lish Makes Me Doubt their Sup­posed Ori­gins, # 1
by ( Filed under Commentary on May 10th, 2007 )

Drill
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 5th, 2007 )

Taco Fairy
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 2nd, 2007 )

A Tech­ni­cal­ly, The­o­ret­i­cal­ly, and Po­lit­i­cal­ly Per­fect Sto­ry, or What Re­mains af­ter Many Years of Ex­ten­sive, In­ten­sive, Sen­si­tive, Open-Mind­ed Work­shops, Peer Ed­its, Com­mu­ni­ty Cri­tiques (Con­struc­tive and Oth­er­wise), and Help­ful Sug­ges­tions from All Ages, Dis­abil­i­ties, Pay Scales, Na­tion­al Ori­gins, Preg­nan­cy-Re­lat­ed Sit­u­a­tions, Races, Re­li­gions, Be­lief and Un­be­lief Sys­tems, Gen­ders, Weights, Body Types, Hair and Eye Pig­ments, Fin­ger­nail Lengths, Fol­lic­u­lar En­dow­ments, Breast Sizes, Foot Odor and Hal­i­to­sis Lev­els, Pre­dis­posed Tem­pera­ments, Brain Chem­i­cal Bal­ances and Im­bal­ances, Svelte Rab­bits, Blood Types, and Last but by No Means Least (Re­mem­ber the Old Say­ing, The Last Shall be First), Gross An­nu­al Ear­wax Pro­duc­tion Levels
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 24th, 2007 )

Lot­tery Tick­ets Re­viewed: Moth­er’s Day Doubler
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on April 15th, 2007 )

The Sur­vivors Cat­a­log Their Col­lec­tive Knowledge
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 12th, 2007 )

Lot­tery Tick­ets Re­viewed: Sham­rock Tripler
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on March 31st, 2007 )

Na­tiv­i­ty
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 23rd, 2007 )

Wide
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 20th, 2007 )

What You Do When You’re Not Do­ing This
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 13th, 2007 )

Kent Torokvei: Pervert?
by ( Filed under Realer Genius on March 7th, 2007 )

The Sleep­er
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 5th, 2007 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #39: Feb­ru­ary, 2007
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on March 4th, 2007 )

Po­ten­tial Ti­tles In the Po­ten­tial Re­al Ge­nius Canon
by ( Filed under Realer Genius on February 27th, 2007 )

Trea­sure: Kansas In­tel­li­gent De­sign Evo­lu­tion Textbook
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on February 20th, 2007 )

Tom Conoboy Knows the An­swers # 4
by ( Filed under Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers on February 18th, 2007 )

Jody
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 17th, 2007 )

th, 2008">Di­ary En­try for Feb. 14th, 2008
by ( Filed under Letters on February 13th, 2007 )

Film: Amer­i­can Bar
by ( Filed under Films on February 12th, 2007 )

Book Re­view: Against The Day, Thomas Pynchon
by ( Filed under Books on February 3rd, 2007 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #38: Jan­u­ary, 2007
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on February 1st, 2007 )

In­gre­di­ents In Many Brand Name Tooth­pastes that Could Be Trendy Ba­by Names
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on January 25th, 2007 )

Tom Conoboy Knows the An­swers # 3
by ( Filed under Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers on January 10th, 2007 )

Try­ing to For­get Your Girlfriend
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 4th, 2007 )

Lot­tery Tick­ets Re­viewed: Tic Tac Turkey
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on January 2nd, 2007 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #37: No­vem­ber & De­cem­ber, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on December 31st, 2006 )

Mon­ey-Back Guarantee
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 27th, 2006 )

Film: Sex, Love & Z‑Parts
by ( Filed under Films on December 25th, 2006 )

Christ­mas Pictured
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 24th, 2006 )

The Dream of Giraffe
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 11th, 2006 )

Snap­shots From New Zealand
by ( Filed under Photographs on December 7th, 2006 )

Let­ter from the Ed­i­tor [of a Stuffy Lit­er­ary Review]
by ( Filed under Letters on November 21st, 2006 )

Tom Conoboy Knows the An­swers # 2
by ( Filed under Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers on November 16th, 2006 )

Warm and Fuzzy Thoughts
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 9th, 2006 )

Tom Conoboy Knows the An­swers # 1
by ( Filed under Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers on November 1st, 2006 )

Hol­i­day Announcement
by ( Filed under Fiction & Letters on October 27th, 2006 )

Flour Moth/Luna Moth
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 26th, 2006 )

rd Kansas City Star">Re­view: Fred Bas­sett com­ic from the Oc­to­ber 23rd Kansas City Star
by ( Filed under Comics on October 23rd, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #36: Oc­to­ber, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on October 21st, 2006 )

A Crumb In My Pe­nis ( from The Op­po­site of Pos­si­ble )
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 21st, 2006 )

Cana­di­an Ballet
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 13th, 2006 )

Re­view: Ver­dan­ge Cal­i­for­nia Shi­raz (2003)
by ( Filed under Drinking on October 9th, 2006 )

Pre­hen­sile
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 27th, 2006 )

Tu Quoque
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 24th, 2006 )

The Heavy Year
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 20th, 2006 )

Long Sto­ry Short: Yurig and the Most Sa­cred of Eggs
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 30th, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #35: Ju­ly, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on August 26th, 2006 )

Cat­tle Drive
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 11th, 2006 )

Dragged On
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 21st, 2006 )

Ful­ci’s Bakery
by ( Filed under Fiction & Zombies, of or Relating to on July 15th, 2006 )

The Voice
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 7th, 2006 )

The Price of Gas
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 2nd, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #34: June, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on July 2nd, 2006 )

Af­ter The Zom­bies Came: Day 31
by ( Filed under Fiction & Zombies, of or Relating to on June 16th, 2006 )

Sat­ur­day Night Live
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on June 16th, 2006 )

Di­et­ing with Jesus
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 13th, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #33: April & May, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on June 5th, 2006 )

Specs
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 3rd, 2006 )

Ad­ven­tures with My Room­mate: My­Space Man, Part I
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on May 11th, 2006 )

Ad­ven­tures With My Room­mate: My­Space Man, Part II
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on May 11th, 2006 )

Ad­ven­tures With My Room­mate: My­Space Man, Part III
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on May 11th, 2006 )

In the News # 3
by ( Filed under Dispatches on May 10th, 2006 )

Plan X
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on May 3rd, 2006 )

Boon­dock 7 – 11
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 2nd, 2006 )

In the News Again
by ( Filed under Dispatches on May 2nd, 2006 )

A Field Trip for Feldspar
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 29th, 2006 )

Up­ward­ly Mobile
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 27th, 2006 )

The Shape of Destruction
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 19th, 2006 )

Ap­plied Con­tem­po­rary Thinking
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 13th, 2006 )

How Man Came to Know that the Mer­illes Fish was Poi­so­nous and Inedible
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 9th, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #32: March, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on April 2nd, 2006 )

Is As Was
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 19th, 2006 )

John­ny Amer­i­ca Rec­om­mends St. Patrick­’s Day Products
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on March 11th, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #31: Feb­ru­ary, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on March 11th, 2006 )

El­e­ments of Destruction
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 14th, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #30: Jan­u­ary, 2006
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on February 13th, 2006 )

The Fifth of July
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 6th, 2006 )

To­ward a So­ci­ol­o­gy of the Sport Spec­ta­tor: A Rare and Patent­ed Ar­gu­ment (Part Three of Three)
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 5th, 2006 )

To­ward a So­ci­ol­o­gy of the Sport Spec­ta­tor: A Rare and Patent­ed Ar­gu­ment (Part Two of Three)
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 3rd, 2006 )

To­ward a So­ci­ol­o­gy of the Sport Spec­ta­tor: A Rare and Patent­ed Ar­gu­ment (Part One of Three)
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 1st, 2006 )

Truth
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 28th, 2006 )

Let­ter to Bet­ty J
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 19th, 2006 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #29: De­cem­ber, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on January 7th, 2006 )

The Shape of Things
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 2nd, 2006 )

Help Around the House
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 29th, 2005 )

Sewn Up
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 23rd, 2005 )

John­ny Amer­i­ca’s Hol­i­day Gift Ideas
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on December 19th, 2005 )

He Was an Ass, Man
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 14th, 2005 )

Cock­tail: “The Moon Rabbit”
by ( Filed under Drinking on December 10th, 2005 )

Ad­ven­tures with My Room­mate: Christmas
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on December 8th, 2005 )

Fak­ing It
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 25th, 2005 )

Mag­ic Bullet
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 22nd, 2005 )

Hamp­ton Inn Room 306
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 19th, 2005 )

Ac­cept­able Rea­sons that Aaron Grill Might Pro­vide for Blow­ing Me Off Last Night
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on November 15th, 2005 )

Meth­ods My Room­mate Patrick Giroux Us­es to Psy­cho­log­i­cal­ly Tor­ture Me
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on November 15th, 2005 )

The Hours Be­fore Morning
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 4th, 2005 )

But What Are You So Afraid Of?
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on November 1st, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #28: Oc­to­ber, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on November 1st, 2005 )

th Day">The 7th Day
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on October 19th, 2005 )

Lot­tery Tick­ets Re­viewed: Croc­o­dile Cash
by ( Filed under Lottery Tickets, Reviewed on October 9th, 2005 )

An Un­ti­tled Sto­ry about Spaceships
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 6th, 2005 )

Lit­tle Red­fer­n’s Trip to the Supermarket
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 5th, 2005 )

In­spi­ra­tions
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 2nd, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #27: Sep­tem­ber, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on October 1st, 2005 )

Doc­u­men­tary History
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 29th, 2005 )

Open­ing Scene of a Sto­ry Ten­ta­tive­ly Ti­tled “Ste­vie Buys Some Fudgsicles”
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 16th, 2005 )

See, Do
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 14th, 2005 )

What’s on? Shop at Home Network
by ( Filed under Commentary on September 10th, 2005 )

Re­view: Burg­er King Chick­en Fries
by ( Filed under Food on September 9th, 2005 )

Re­bound and Bound We Go
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on September 6th, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #26: Au­gust, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on September 1st, 2005 )

Dal­las Underground
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on September 1st, 2005 )

The Cure for Nudity
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 31st, 2005 )

Lig­a­ment Sandwich
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 26th, 2005 )

Trea­sure: Ve­ra Stravin­sky’s Candy
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on August 25th, 2005 )

Where The Voice Begins
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on August 20th, 2005 )

The Im­mi­nent Ar­rival of Gargantua
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 17th, 2005 )

Just Ask James: The Big Question
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on August 12th, 2005 )

Things Jay Hol­ley Left in my Home af­ter Vis­it­ing for Two Days
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on August 8th, 2005 )

Af­ter The Zom­bies Came: Day 22
by ( Filed under Fiction & Zombies, of or Relating to on August 5th, 2005 )

That Guy with the Han­dle­bar Mustache
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 3rd, 2005 )

More Sweat in Peace­time, Less Blood in War
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 3rd, 2005 )

Di­aled Calls
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 1st, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #25: Ju­ly, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on August 1st, 2005 )

The Day Af­ter Doris & Janet­te’s End of the World Party
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 28th, 2005 )

My Name is not Mar­ty, My Name is not Stacey
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 13th, 2005 )

Truth in Advertising
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 11th, 2005 )

Af­ter the Zom­bies Came: Day 14
by ( Filed under Fiction & Zombies, of or Relating to on July 1st, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #24: June, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on July 1st, 2005 )

My Tele­ki­net­ic Pow­ers: Day 8 Af­ter Their Mys­te­ri­ous Appearance
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 19th, 2005 )

Last Day of School
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 11th, 2005 )

In the News
by ( Filed under Dispatches on June 7th, 2005 )

You Are There: (Bern, Switzer­land) Bärengraben
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 3rd, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #23: May, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on June 1st, 2005 )

What’s on? Home Shop­ping Network
by ( Filed under Commentary on May 30th, 2005 )

The Break­fast Sand­wich Plan and the Long Drive
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 21st, 2005 )

Per­son­al Gifts
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 6th, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #22: April, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on May 1st, 2005 )

Omega Boy
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 29th, 2005 )

The Very Painful Sui­cide of Dr. Philip Lyxzen
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 27th, 2005 )

Neigh­bor­hood Association
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 23rd, 2005 )

Palmate Antlers for Bullwinkle
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 18th, 2005 )

It was Ex­tra­or­di­nar­i­ly Human
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 11th, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #21: March, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on April 9th, 2005 )

Al Taller
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 8th, 2005 )

Open­ing Scene from a ‘B’ Novel­la Ten­ta­tive­ly Ti­tled Ben­ny Hits the Slots
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 7th, 2005 )

Mar­ty’s Day Off
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 2nd, 2005 )

Ad­vance Praise for The Au­thor’s Healthy Ego
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 26th, 2005 )

Man­i­festo for Air-Guitar
by ( Filed under Commentary on March 17th, 2005 )

Why I Hate My Room­mate’s Pet Dog
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on March 11th, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #20: Feb­ru­ary, 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on March 1st, 2005 )

Gold­en Venture
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 22nd, 2005 )

Ques­tions Writ­ers of the S.A.T. Might Ask Them­selves While Pon­der­ing the 2004 Acad­e­my Awards Act­ing Nominees
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 21st, 2005 )

Thoughts while in Ted­dy Wick­lund’s Chair of Dentistry
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 14th, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #19: Jan­u­ary 2005
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on February 11th, 2005 )

Sur­vey
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 10th, 2005 )

Just Ask James: On the Love of Corpses
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on February 8th, 2005 )

Let­ter of the Week: # 4
by ( Filed under Letters on January 26th, 2005 )

Just Ask James: Ruthenium
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on January 22nd, 2005 )

He Loves, They Struggle
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 18th, 2005 )

An­oth­er Per­spec­tive: Magic
by ( Filed under Commentary on January 14th, 2005 )

Sassy T.‘s Hy­giene Corner
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on January 14th, 2005 )

Pro­pos­al for a Michael Jack­son Stud­ies de­part­ment at the Uni­ver­si­ty of Kansas
by ( Filed under Letters on January 10th, 2005 )

Film: Clos­er
by ( Filed under Films on January 9th, 2005 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #18: De­cem­ber, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on January 1st, 2005 )

The Worst Gift I Re­ceived This Year
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on December 29th, 2004 )

Just Ask James: Let­ter from a Would-Be Man
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on December 23rd, 2004 )

To the Cre­ators of Comedic Dance Moves
by ( Filed under Letters on December 15th, 2004 )

Let­ter to the Cho­rus of ‘FAME’ Years Af­ter I Sang Along to It With All My Heart
by ( Filed under Letters on December 6th, 2004 )

Books You Should Read Tomorrow
by ( Filed under Books on December 4th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #17: No­vem­ber, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on December 1st, 2004 )

Ghosts
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 28th, 2004 )

Book Re­view: The Miss­ing Rock Star Ca­per by R. Park­er McVey
by ( Filed under Books on November 21st, 2004 )

Just Ask James: Small Penis
by ( Filed under Just Ask James on November 19th, 2004 )

When I Draw Maps
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on November 15th, 2004 )

Let­ter to a Stranger
by ( Filed under Letters on November 7th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #16: Oc­to­ber, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on November 1st, 2004 )

Au­tos Erotic
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 24th, 2004 )

Lessons Learned From the Film Lad­der 49
by ( Filed under Films on October 18th, 2004 )

I Like…
by ( Filed under Dispatches on October 17th, 2004 )

R. I. P.
by ( Filed under Dispatches on October 12th, 2004 )

William Shat­ner’s Has Been
by ( Filed under Music on October 7th, 2004 )

Jake Brown
by ( Filed under Fiction on October 6th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #15: Sep­tem­ber, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on October 1st, 2004 )

Notes from James Spillane In­volv­ing Spaghet­ti West­erns and Football
by ( Filed under Commentary on September 21st, 2004 )

Mandy’s Legs
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 20th, 2004 )

De­f­i­n­i­tion: Hobosexual
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on September 15th, 2004 )

Trea­sure: Aban­doned Moment
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on September 13th, 2004 )

Some Beds I’ve Slept In, Part Two
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on September 11th, 2004 )

Re­view: Hill­crest El­e­men­tary School Cafeteria
by ( Filed under Food on September 6th, 2004 )

Bit­ter Bunny
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 6th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #14: Au­gust, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on September 1st, 2004 )

To Some of the Men I Buy Cof­fee from in the Mornings
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on August 30th, 2004 )

Aaron Grill: An Ab­bre­vi­at­ed Biography
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on August 21st, 2004 )

Some Beds I’ve Slept In, Part One
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on August 19th, 2004 )

The Truth About Death
by ( Filed under Letters on August 12th, 2004 )

Com­ments on New York City Sub­way Advertising
by ( Filed under Commentary on August 12th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #13: Ju­ly, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on August 1st, 2004 )

Sui­cide Girls Bur­lesque Show
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on July 31st, 2004 )

The Mo­ment When My Friend Emi­ly Law­ton and S.N.L. Alum­nus Jim­my Fal­lon Fell in Love
by ( Filed under Comics on July 30th, 2004 )

For Whom The Bell Crick­et Tolls
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 29th, 2004 )

Ron
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on July 28th, 2004 )

The Hairy Elbow
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 23rd, 2004 )

Three Let­ters In­spired by a Re­cent Trip to the Amuse­ment Park
by ( Filed under Letters on July 13th, 2004 )

Let­ter to My De­ceased Dun­geons and Drag­ons Char­ac­ter, Who I Or­dered In­to Cer­tain Doom
by ( Filed under Letters on July 2nd, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #12: June, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on July 1st, 2004 )

Book Re­view: Ca­jun Sexy Cookin’
by ( Filed under Books on June 28th, 2004 )

My Sis­ter, Part Six
by ( Filed under Writer X's Sister on June 28th, 2004 )

KFC Dale, Jr. Col­lectible Bucket
by ( Filed under Dispatches on June 28th, 2004 )

Book Re­view: Life of Pi by Yann Martel
by ( Filed under Books on June 25th, 2004 )

Romance/Missing Per­sons: WE MET BY THE NACHOS
by ( Filed under Fiction on June 24th, 2004 )

Trea­sure: Lure of the Limerick
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on June 9th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #11: May, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on June 1st, 2004 )

Re­view: In­ter­na­tion­al Bar
by ( Filed under Drinking on May 27th, 2004 )

Dear Liv­er
by ( Filed under Letters on May 27th, 2004 )

th New York Post">Re­view: Re­al Life Ad­ven­tures com­ic from the May 24th New York Post
by ( Filed under Fiction on May 24th, 2004 )

My Sis­ter, Part Five
by ( Filed under Writer X's Sister on May 19th, 2004 )

Al­bum Re­view: Let It Be… Naked
by ( Filed under Music on May 19th, 2004 )

My Sis­ter, Part Four
by ( Filed under Writer X's Sister on May 12th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #10: April, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on May 1st, 2004 )

th New York Post">Re­view: Den­nis the Men­ace Com­ic from the April 28th New York Post
by ( Filed under Comics on April 29th, 2004 )

The Mod­ern Encore
by ( Filed under Commentary on April 29th, 2004 )

Se­lect Pho­tos From a Walk Over the Brook­lyn Bridge, Around the City, then Back to Brooklyn
by ( Filed under Photographs on April 17th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #9: March, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on April 1st, 2004 )

John Tra­vol­ta Mi­cro­phone Dance Boy
by ( Filed under Fiction on April 1st, 2004 )

Trea­sure: Found Snapshots
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on March 29th, 2004 )

Film: Eter­nal Sun­shine of the Spot­less Mind
by ( Filed under Films on March 23rd, 2004 )

Fif­teen-Sec­ond The­atre # 1
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 22nd, 2004 )

Robin Watch­ing Airplanes
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 13th, 2004 )

Let­ter of the Week: Brunette & Beagle
by ( Filed under Letters on March 9th, 2004 )

This Shenago
by ( Filed under Drinking on March 9th, 2004 )

Bug­boy
by ( Filed under Fiction on March 8th, 2004 )

An­oth­er Per­spec­tive: Drink­ing at Work
by ( Filed under Commentary on March 8th, 2004 )

Var­i­ous Addresses
by ( Filed under Dispatches on March 8th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #8: Feb­ru­ary, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on March 1st, 2004 )

Trea­sure: Bluejay
by ( Filed under Treasure Hunter Mark Brown Presents on February 27th, 2004 )

So You’re Play­ing G‑Unit Again?
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 26th, 2004 )

Ne­go­ti­a­tions With My Gen­er­ous Friend Aaron Grill, Who Of­fers a Couch and a Blan­ket to Vis­i­tors, but Not His Sister
by ( Filed under Letters on February 24th, 2004 )

AOL In­stant Mes­sen­ger Con­ver­sa­tion: Sum­mer Plans
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on February 20th, 2004 )

Play­ing Hooky
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 19th, 2004 )

Just Add Water
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 17th, 2004 )

Aunt Jemi­ma by Andy Warhol
by ( Filed under Art on February 10th, 2004 )

An­i­mal in Man
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 4th, 2004 )

Things I Thought of Today
by ( Filed under Fiction on February 3rd, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #7: Jan­u­ary, 2004
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on February 1st, 2004 )

An Au­to­bi­o­graph­i­cal Account
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 27th, 2004 )

Bun­dle of His
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 24th, 2004 )

My Sis­ter, Part Three
by ( Filed under Writer X's Sister on January 23rd, 2004 )

Romance/Missing Per­sons: AT THE PUMP
by ( Filed under Letters on January 22nd, 2004 )

Con­ver­sa­tion Over­heard on #1 Sub­way Train, as Re­sult of An­nounce­ment “There is An­oth­er Train Di­rect­ly Be­hind This One,” Dur­ing a Crowd­ed Time
by ( Filed under Dispatches on January 22nd, 2004 )

Squeaky
by ( Filed under Commentary on January 21st, 2004 )

Ac­tu­al Tran­script of my Con­ver­sa­tion with a New Em­ploy­ee, on His First Day of Work
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on January 21st, 2004 )

First Sen­tence of a Sto­ry Ti­tled “Max’s Ex­plod­ing Gold­fish or My Life as a Zookeeper”
by ( Filed under Fiction on January 19th, 2004 )

Let­ter of the Week: “i love pi­geons too”
by ( Filed under Letters on January 13th, 2004 )

My Sis­ter, Part Two
by ( Filed under Writer X's Sister on January 11th, 2004 )

In­fi­nite Distaste
by ( Filed under Books on January 8th, 2004 )

My Sis­ter, Part One
by ( Filed under Writer X's Sister on January 5th, 2004 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #6: De­cem­ber, 2003
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on January 1st, 2004 )

Four Ad­di­tion­al Letters
by ( Filed under Letters on December 30th, 2003 )

Soy Peanuts and Tim’s Stom­ach Ache
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 22nd, 2003 )

An Evening at the Bour­geois Pig and Some Thoughts About Ben Affleck
by ( Filed under Drinking on December 22nd, 2003 )

The New McNuggets
by ( Filed under Food on December 18th, 2003 )

Dear B.M.G. Mu­sic Ser­vice Col­lec­tion Department
by ( Filed under Letters on December 15th, 2003 )

The Day of the Can­dy Shower
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 11th, 2003 )

Ex­cerpts From the Di­ary of Armin Meiwes
by ( Filed under Fiction on December 6th, 2003 )

Ask Jer­maine Dupri: Ques­tion From A White Boy
by ( Filed under Ask Jermaine Dupri on December 4th, 2003 )

Packin From Age Zero
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on December 4th, 2003 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #5: No­vem­ber, 2003
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on December 1st, 2003 )

Evan’s Lit­er­ary In­ter­ests At Age Thirteen
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 26th, 2003 )

Four Let­ters
by ( Filed under Letters on November 20th, 2003 )

Ex­cerpt from my Nov­el, Cur­rent­ly Ti­tled Skil­let Blow to the Head
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 14th, 2003 )

The As­sas­i­na­tion of Timaz Bendoll
by ( Filed under Fiction on November 8th, 2003 )

Let Me Tell of My Love of Pigeons
by ( Filed under Commentary on November 3rd, 2003 )

Fun­ny Time In The Night
by ( Filed under Drinking on November 3rd, 2003 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #4: Oc­to­ber, 2003
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on November 1st, 2003 )

A Rig­or­ous Analy­sis of The Alphabet
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on October 21st, 2003 )

Ask Jer­maine Dupri
by ( Filed under Ask Jermaine Dupri on October 17th, 2003 )

Mag­dale­na Vega
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on October 7th, 2003 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #3: Sep­tem­ber, 2003
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on October 1st, 2003 )

Last Para­graph of Un­writ­ten Nov­el of the Con­tem­po­rary Iron­ic Self-Aware Type
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 23rd, 2003 )

Film: Match­stick Men
by ( Filed under Films on September 18th, 2003 )

Match.com Play­er
by ( Filed under Commentary on September 10th, 2003 )

Sylvie Brings Over a Can of Tuna
by ( Filed under Fiction on September 5th, 2003 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #2: Au­gust, 2003
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on September 1st, 2003 )

A Po­em I Want­ed to Share With My Friends
by ( Filed under Poetry on August 24th, 2003 )

The First Three Sen­tences of an Un­fin­ished Choose-Your-Own Ad­ven­ture Sto­ry Which Will In­volve Chi­nese Food, A Truck Ex­plod­ing, and a Brawl in Which Rocko Gets Hit on the Head with an Eggplant
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 20th, 2003 )

Pic­ture of a Hipster
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 14th, 2003 )

Film: So­laris
by ( Filed under Films on August 14th, 2003 )

Some Nick­names I Have Been Called at Work, in Ap­prox­i­mate De­scend­ing Or­der of Frequency
by ( Filed under Dispatches on August 5th, 2003 )

Oliv­er Not Call­ing (par­tial scene)
by ( Filed under Fiction on August 4th, 2003 )

How You Might’ve Found John­ny Amer­i­ca #1: Ju­ly, 2003
by ( Filed under How You Might've Found Johnny America on August 1st, 2003 )

The Stink of Burn­ing Mattress
by ( Filed under Dispatches on July 30th, 2003 )

I Can’t Deal With Goth Highschoolers
by ( Filed under Commentary on July 28th, 2003 )

Jes­si­ca Goes Shopping
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 25th, 2003 )

Hap­py Boy Margarine
by ( Filed under Non-Fiction on July 20th, 2003 )

Film: The Ma­trix Reloaded
by ( Filed under Films on July 16th, 2003 )

Short Piece In­volv­ing an Au­to­mo­bile (5 of 5)
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 13th, 2003 )

Short Piece In­volv­ing an Au­to­mo­bile (4 of 5)
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 11th, 2003 )

Book Re­view: Civil­War­Land in Bad De­cline by George Saunders
by ( Filed under Books on July 10th, 2003 )

My Top 10 NYC Bars, in Ap­prox­i­mate As­cend­ing Order
by ( Filed under Drinking on July 9th, 2003 )

Short Piece In­volv­ing an Au­to­mo­bile (3 of 5)
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 8th, 2003 )

Film: A.I. Ar­ti­fi­cial Intelligence
by ( Filed under Films on July 6th, 2003 )

Short Piece In­volv­ing an Au­to­mo­bile (2 of 5)
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 4th, 2003 )

Short Piece In­volv­ing an Au­to­mo­bile (1 of 5)
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 3rd, 2003 )

Oliv­er Buys Film (Par­tial Scene)
by ( Filed under Fiction on July 3rd, 2003 )

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