Archives

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #52: Winter, 2019

Cat Contract

Honky Tonk Sue

Trumble’s Brother

The Minus World

Santo D’Alessandro Tags Himself

A Step-By-Step Guide to Dealing with the Death of a Dog

Our Black Hole

The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Mike’s Hard Lemonade

Daily Deformations

Swans

A Major in Convenience

Silence

Spambot Poetry: The Sorted and Washed

That Guy with the Handlebar Mustache

Book Review: Life of Pi by Yann Martel

Romance/Missing Persons: WE MET BY THE NACHOS

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #11: May, 2004

Dear Liver

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #10: April, 2004

Review: Dennis the Menace Comic from the April 28th New York Post

The Modern Encore

Select Photos From a Walk Over the Brooklyn Bridge, Around the City, then Back to Brooklyn

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #9: March, 2004

John Travolta Microphone Dance Boy

Treasure: Found Snapshots

Film: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Fifteen-Second Theatre # 1

Robin Watching Airplanes

Letter of the Week: Brunette & Beagle

This Shenago

Bugboy

Another Perspective: Drinking at Work

Various Addresses

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #8: February, 2004

Treasure: Bluejay

So You’re Playing G-Unit Again?

Negotiations With My Generous Friend Aaron Grill, Who Offers a Couch and a Blanket to Visitors, but Not His Sister

AOL Instant Messenger Conversation: Summer Plans

Playing Hooky

Just Add Water

Aunt Jemima by Andy Warhol

Animal in Man

Things I Thought of Today

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #7: January, 2004

An Autobiographical Account

Bundle of His

My Sister, Part Three

Romance/Missing Persons: AT THE PUMP

Conversation Overheard on #1 Subway Train, as Result of Announcement “There is Another Train Directly Behind This One,” During a Crowded Time

Squeaky

Actual Transcript of my Conversation with a New Employee, on His First Day of Work

First Sentence of a Story Titled “Max’s Exploding Goldfish or My Life as a Zookeeper”

Letter of the Week: “i love pigeons too”

My Sister, Part Two

Infinite Distaste

My Sister, Part One

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #6: December, 2003

Four Additional Letters

Soy Peanuts and Tim’s Stomach Ache

An Evening at the Bourgeois Pig and Some Thoughts About Ben Affleck

The New McNuggets

Dear B.M.G. Music Service Collection Department

The Day of the Candy Shower

Excerpts From the Diary of Armin Meiwes

Ask Jermaine Dupri: Question From A White Boy

Packin From Age Zero

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #5: November, 2003

Evan’s Literary Interests At Age Thirteen

Four Letters

Excerpt from my Novel, Currently Titled Skillet Blow to the Head

The Assasination of Timaz Bendoll

Let Me Tell of My Love of Pigeons

Funny Time In The Night

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #4: October, 2003

A Rigorous Analysis of The Alphabet

Ask Jermaine Dupri

Magdalena Vega

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #3: September, 2003

Last Paragraph of Unwritten Novel of the Contemporary Ironic Self-Aware Type

Film: Matchstick Men

Match.com Player

Sylvie Brings Over a Can of Tuna

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #2: August, 2003

A Poem I Wanted to Share With My Friends

The First Three Sentences of an Unfinished Choose-Your-Own Adventure Story Which Will Involve Chinese Food, A Truck Exploding, and a Brawl in Which Rocko Gets Hit on the Head with an Eggplant

Picture of a Hipster

Film: Solaris

Some Nicknames I Have Been Called at Work, in Approximate Descending Order of Frequency

Oliver Not Calling (partial scene)

How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #1: July, 2003

The Stink of Burning Mattress

I Can’t Deal With Goth Highschoolers

Jessica Goes Shopping

Happy Boy Margarine

Film: The Matrix Reloaded

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (5 of 5)

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (4 of 5)

Book Review: CivilWarLand in Bad Decline by George Saunders

My Top 10 NYC Bars, in Approximate Ascending Order

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (3 of 5)

Film: A.I. Artificial Intelligence

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (2 of 5)

Short Piece Involving an Automobile (1 of 5)

Oliver Buys Film (Partial Scene)