Johnny America


Life Teach­ing Anec­dotes of an Ex­alt­ed Wise Man



STUDENT: Oh Ex­alt­ed Wise Man?

CHRIS MORGAN: Yes my pupil?

STUDENT: I seek spe­cif­ic wis­dom from you.

CHRIS MORGAN: That you do and in the process you have failed in re­ceiv­ing wisdom.

STUDENT: I did? I feel terrible.

CHRIS MORGAN: To wit, you have taught me a les­son in wisdom.

STUDENT: Have I? How?

CHRIS MORGAN: You mas­tery of the art of stat­ing the ob­vi­ous has taught me that schol­ar­ly mer­it did not play a part in get­ting you ac­cess to my wisdom.

STUDENT: I see. How can I cor­rect this?

CHRIS MORGAN: Easy, just be as wise as your fa­ther’s signature.


STUDENT: Oh Ex­alt­ed Wise Man?

CHRIS MORGAN: Yes my pupil?

STUDENT: Why is it that you don’t em­pha­size the foun­da­tions of right and wrong in your lessons?

CHRIS MORGAN: Be­cause ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ are mere­ly words, words cre­at­ed by peo­ple who are des­per­ate in try­ing to link things that do stuff.

STUDENT: So both killer and vic­tim are tech­ni­cal­ly right and wrong?

CHRIS MORGAN: This is true my pupil.

STUDENT: I sup­pose I am like those des­per­ate peo­ple, I am ashamed Oh Ex­alt­ed Wise Man.

CHRIS MORGAN [laughs]: This is more com­mon than you think. Al­low me to explain.

STUDENT: Please, please do.

CHRIS MORGAN: This is true that a mur­der­er has cause con­sid­er­able pain to his/her vic­tim as the sci­en­tif­ic method has proven.

STUDENT: Of course.

CHRIS MORGAN: But sci­ence says lit­tle of the vic­tim. Who’s to say that by mur­der­ing that per­son, the mur­der­er has as­sured such events as a cou­ple en­joy­ing a ro­man­tic an­niver­sary din­ner, a cus­to­di­an get­ting a few ex­tra min­utes of a smoke break af­ter clean­ing a lunch­room or a hap­py child who has a toy and/or choco­late bar all to him/herself.

STUDENT: It’s com­ing to be clear­er now.

CHRIS MORGAN: Very good. In time you’ll know that such deaths like that of your lit­tle broth­er’s, are nev­er in vain.


STUDENT: Oh Ex­alt­ed Wise Man?

CHRIS MORGAN: Yes my pupil?

STUDENT: When is it right to use the word ‘in­deed’ in conversation?


STUDENT: I fail to see the wisdom.


STUDENT: Per­haps I should go.

CHRIS MORGAN: That will not be nec­es­sary pupil!

STUDENT: It won’t?

CHRIS MORGAN: No, for you see, when some­one asks a friv­o­lous ques­tion, or says a friv­o­lous state­ment, the word ‘in­deed’ is used in or­der for the dumb­found­ed lis­ten­er to pon­der the speak­er’s pe­cu­liar­i­ties in or­der to il­lic­it the prop­er re­ply that will clear all idiocy.

STUDENT: In­deed?

CHRIS MORGAN: No, pupil, that is the in­cor­rect usage.

STUDENT: In­deed.

CHRIS MORGAN: Such talk will on­ly serve to teach you the les­son as to why I am the Wise Man and you are the or­phan concubine.

STUDENT: Or a con­cu­bine orphan.



STUDENT: Oh Ex­alt­ed Wise Man?

CHRIS MORGAN: Yes my pupil?

STUDENT: Why do you not re­turn my calls, my many calls that you sure­ly receive?

CHRIS MORGAN: I thought you had a chal­lenge for me.

Filed under Fiction on September 24th, 2007

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