Johnny America

 

Old Man Wrote

by

Mor­ton Wal­dorf was precisely
forty-sev­en years old when the doc­tor in­formed him of the ter­mi­nal cancer
eat­ing away at his colon. He took the news with rel­a­tive in­dif­fer­ence. The
dis­ease had tak­en his fa­ther and grand­fa­ther be­fore him. It ap­peared to be the
done thing for Wal­dorf men to per­ish from the wretched can­cer curse be­fore the
age of fifty. Mor­ton thanked the doc­tor for the news with a shake of his hand
and spent the evening smok­ing and drink­ing and writ­ing, as he did every night.

With no wife or chil­dren to tend to
his needs and not want­i­ng to both­er the busy doc­tors and nurs­es with cancer
treat­ments that would soon­er or lat­er fail, Morton’s con­di­tion deteriorated
rather quick­ly. Af­ter two months, he could no longer make it be­yond his letter
box with­out dou­bling over in pain. He ac­cli­ma­tised to this en­forced confinement
by pur­chas­ing his week­ly ne­ces­si­ties (sev­en pack­ets of Marl­boro Red 100s,
four­teen bot­tles of Finnlaigh Irish whiskey and var­i­ous food­stuffs) over the
in­ter­net — a fas­ci­nat­ing tech­nol­o­gy he was taught to use by his neighbour’s
kind­ly 10-year-old boy.

For those two months, Morton
con­tin­ued to write and drink and smoke — and he did each ac­tiv­i­ty with more
vigour than the day be­fore. The writ­ing re­laxed him, the drink­ing helped his
cre­ativ­i­ty and the smok­ing calmed his nerves when­ev­er he opened another
re­jec­tion let­ter from one of the hun­dreds of lit­er­ary agents and publishing
hous­es he had sent queries to, of which he re­ceived at least one every other
day. Any time not in­vest­ed in writ­ing, drink­ing or smok­ing was spent
vo­ra­cious­ly con­sum­ing any nov­el he could grasp be­tween his fin­gers. His tiny
one-room apart­ment housed well over eight hun­dred nov­els, bi­ogra­phies and short
sto­ry col­lec­tions, and though he nev­er read a sto­ry twice, he was wary of
sell­ing or even lend­ing any of those books to strangers. For new ma­te­r­i­al, he
re­lied on his on­line pur­chas­es and, of course, the neighbour’s kind­ly son.

When walk­ing to the let­ter box
be­came too much of a bur­den for Mor­ton bear, he re­mained in­side, mov­ing only
be­tween his bed and of­fice chair, which were few­er than five feet apart. Though
he could no longer con­tin­ue to check his let­ter box for the rare chance that an
agent had de­cid­ed to take on his project or, al­most im­pos­si­bly, a pub­lish­er had
asked per­mis­sion to pub­lish one of his count­less works, he rea­soned that since
he had on­ly opened re­jec­tion let­ters for the past twen­ty-two years, it was
log­i­cal to as­sume that there would on­ly be more of the same wait­ing for him
out­side. Still, he con­tin­ued to write.

Af­ter six­teen days play­ing the role
of her­mit, there was a knock on Morton’s front door. He spent the bet­ter part
of five min­utes mov­ing from his of­fice chair to the door and feared that by the
time he opened it the vis­i­tor would have left. How­ev­er, up­on un­latch­ing the
door he saw his neigh­bours and their kind­ly son stand­ing be­fore him, the
hus­band car­ry­ing what ap­peared to be dozens of loose en­velopes. The middle-aged
man smiled awk­ward­ly, ob­vi­ous­ly shocked by Morton’s un­kempt ap­pear­ance and
like­ly the rank smell that was em­a­nat­ing from the apart­ment. He told Morton
that his let­ter box been over­flow­ing for the past few days and they had
col­lect­ed his mail for him. Mor­ton thanked the man and man­aged to of­fer a
lop­sided smile when the kind­ly son hand­ed him two books: Ender’s Game by
Or­son Scott Card and The Gift by Richard Paul Evans.

Ender’s Game is my favourite
my favourite,” he said hap­pi­ly. “My Mum likes the oth­er one and says it’d be
good for you to read some­thing hap­py since you might die.”

The moth­er blushed as if embarrassed
by her son’s in­abil­i­ty to tem­per his out­bursts, though per­haps she was now
ashamed to give Mor­ton such an up­lift­ing book when he was quite clear­ly so far
gone.

Mor­ton thanked the fam­i­ly and, in
re­turn, hand­ed the son a man­u­script for his most re­cent nov­el — a sto­ry about
bird-like crea­tures land­ing on Earth and trans­form­ing in­to hu­manoids in order
to breed with their women so they could flour­ish on the Moon. Mor­ton hoped the
child would en­joy the tale and re­turn the man­u­script when he was fin­ished — it
was his on­ly copy and he wished to send it out to pub­lish­ers soon.

Not four months af­ter that
un­re­mark­able doctor’s ap­point­ment, Mor­ton Wal­dorf was ad­mit­ted to a hospice
where he spent his re­main­ing days. He was an un­hap­py pa­tient. Not be­cause of
the vi­cious dis­ease that was slow­ly but sure­ly shut­ting down every or­gan in his
body, but be­cause he was un­able to drink and smoke and, most importantly,
write. The hos­pice ap­peared to have a strict pol­i­cy against any tech­nol­o­gy that
had emerged af­ter the 1960s. As such, a per­son­al com­put­er was out of the
ques­tion, though the nurs­es gave him a notepad and sev­er­al pens in the hope
that such a ges­ture would shut him up. As it was, the day the nurs­es came and
took him from his one-room apart­ment was the last day Mor­ton ever wrote. The
neighbour’s kind­ly son nev­er did re­turn his manuscript.

Mor­ton died, as all men do, alone.
Had he been able to fore­see his pass­ing, he would have been pleased that he did
not cry out for the nurs­es or weep for the com­fort of his fam­i­ly that had long
since passed. He on­ly wished he could have had one last cig­a­rette and sip of
whiskey. And per­haps been able to open one more let­ter, just in case.

§

The neighbour’s kind­ly son grew up
to be an in­tel­li­gent young man, per­haps even more in­ter­est­ed in read­ing and
writ­ing than Mor­ton had been. He spent the first years of his twen­ties honing
his craft be­fore fin­ish­ing his first man­u­script. Af­ter re­search­ing what he
be­lieved to be the best agen­cies and pub­lish­ing hous­es for his nov­el, the lad
built up the courage and sent off a num­ber of queries and sub­mis­sions. His
first re­jec­tion re­turned a week lat­er, then his sec­ond and third. Af­ter almost
a year of com­pos­ing and post­ing query let­ters on­ly to re­ceive form rejections,
he was ready to give up any fool­ish de­sires he had of be­com­ing an au­thor. If
Mor­ton Wal­dorf couldn’t sell a sin­gle sto­ry in twen­ty years, was the
neighbour’s kind­ly son will­ing to spend the next two decades of his life doing
the same?

Then, on a day not un­like most
oth­ers, the young man re­ceived a quite in­for­mal let­ter stat­ing that a
pub­lish­ing house was in­ter­est­ed in his work. While at first un­able to live off
the mea­gre wages of a first-time nov­el­ist, af­ter six years he had pro­duced more
than enough works to be able to sup­port his young family.

It was at this point, when he
re­alised he was now able to call him­self a full-time au­thor, that he remembered
the old, sick­ly man who had lived next door and had loved to write. In the
sum­mer that fol­lowed, he made a de­lib­er­ate ef­fort to vis­it his par­ents in the
house where he grew up. Late one evening, he re­turned to his old bed­room, which
his moth­er had left in al­most the ex­act state as when he had moved out at age
eigh­teen. There, he wad­ed through box af­ter box, fold­er af­ter fold­er un­til he
found what he was search­ing for:

Ori­gins of an In­ter­galac­tic Species by Mor­ton Waldorf.

The young man smiled at the title
and all at once mem­o­ries of read­ing the sil­ly man­u­script as a child came
flood­ing back. Mor­ton was not blessed with a keen eye for gram­mar, or even a
unique writ­ing style. How­ev­er, it seems the drink gave him end­less unique
ideas. Per­haps most were bet­ter left on the edit­ing floor, but the young man
could not fault Morton’s en­thu­si­asm for cre­at­ing some­thing very re­al, yet
en­tire­ly un­re­al at the same time. Be­ing a pub­lished au­thor, he could understand
why Morton’s man­u­scripts and queries had been re­ject­ed time and again — he was
nev­er cut out to be a pub­lished writer. Per­haps he was on­ly meant to write for
one person.

The young man spent the next five
hours read­ing Ori­gins of an In­ter­galac­tic Species for what he could only
es­ti­mate would be the twen­ti­eth time. The poor­ly-writ­ten, poorly-characterised
yet en­tire­ly en­ter­tain­ing nov­el brought back mem­o­ries he had thought long since
lost. Yawn­ing, he re-bound the man­u­script and took it back down­stairs to place
se­cure­ly in his briefcase.

Per­haps it was Morton’s lot in life
to be the per­son­i­fi­ca­tion of re­jec­tion. Per­haps he re­al­ly was on­ly meant to
write for the neighbour’s kind­ly son. But the young man thought that entirely
too cru­el a fate for a man who had put so many thank­less years in­to his craft.
Per­haps on­ly one more per­son would read Morton’s nov­el and that would be the
end of his mea­gre ex­is­tence. But in a few years’ time, when he was old enough,
the young man would give Morton’s odd lit­tle nov­el on avian creatures
pop­u­lat­ing the Moon to his son in the hope that it would spark in him the same
zest for writ­ing as it did in his father.

Filed under Fiction on November 1st, 2013

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