How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #52: Winter, 2019
- Scanning this humble web site’s “search engine referral keyphrases” log, one can’t help but wonder what sort of character typed, “you wouldn’t hit a man with a mustache,” as their Google search query. Was it a mustachioed wimp aiming to use their manly handlebar of hair as a line of defense? A would-be ruffian who just couldn’t bring themselves to punch a gentleman with a perfectly waxed Fu Manchu? So many questions, so few answers…
- “my butt is your butt” is a far less mysterious query, clearly the work of a Gluteus Communist, the fringe political fraction famous for their motto, “butts of the world, unite!”
- By far the most popular search phrase bringing people to J.A. as of late is [ Search phrase redacted ], the name of one of our kind contributors and also the name of a well-endowed professional in the pornography industry. Based on our brief investigations we do not believe [ Search phrase redacted ], the writer, is the same individual as [ Search phrase redacted ], the actor, but we cannot certain because of the papier-mâché leopard mask.