Johnny America


Just Ask James: Our New President


Dear James,

What do you think about our new president?


Wow, Al­li­son…

You like how I start­ed that, with just the “wow”? You left me with noth­ing to bag on… so I have to stand here naked and give you the truth. (Note to all ques­tion­ers: keep it sim­ple and you will put me on the ropes.)

With that said, here is what I think. I will be the first to tell you that I vot­ed for him (I live in Alas­ka and the Palin vote went far). In my life time I have nev­er seen any­thing like him. This guy can talk. If you took every great speech out there and rolled them in­to one, you’d have the equiv­a­lent elo­quence of our new pres­i­dent just talk­ing nor­mal­ly about who’s go­ing to win the Su­per Bowl. A few weeks ago I watched him talk about the econ­o­my — he was­n’t even the pres­i­dent yet and it was scary. This guy is like every great speech wrapped up in­to one, “ask not what your coun­try can do for you, but what you can do for your coun­try!” sort of stuff… he was FDR, he was Lin­coln, he was, hate to say this, Hitler and Churchill.

Mr. Pres­i­dent, what do you think about Con­nect Four?

“It is a game where the pieces are al­ways mov­ing and as an Amer­i­can we need to reach out to our com­peti­tors and know their next move.”

The scary part to me is this: this guy, with all the weight of the world on his shoul­ders… will fold. He is the ab­solute clos­est we have ever come to hav­ing some­body like us in the high­est of­fice (most of the time we are choos­ing to eat cold dog shit and hot dog shit when it comes to a pres­i­dent… some rich white man to rep­re­sent us all). So we broke the mold.

Fear is my fear… It seems like for as long as I can re­mem­ber we feared fear. First there was sex, and they sold it well… the new sex is fear. Just watch the news. Your dick isn’t big enough, you’re fat, you can’t get hard enough, you need a car, you need a house, you are worth­less. Fear is the new sexy… then we had the pres­i­den­tial cam­paigns, one dri­ven by fear, and the oth­er pro­pelled by hope…

Hope won. We need a lit­tle hope. But, now… We for­got all about the ter­ror­ists, and the econ­o­my seems to be the new fear (tril­lion dol­lar deficits). I am freaked out that a bunch a laws will be passed on our watch. Our new pres­i­dent is push­ing it. If we are talk­ing about the econ­o­my two years from now, I will know it is a lay me down…

Let’s get back to hope. Al­li­son, think about all the things that make you beau­ti­ful and sing. I am sure you’ve got a pair of lungs. Sing… per­haps this cat will hear it and we can change things.


Filed under Just Ask James on January 28th, 2009

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