Just Ask James: Small Penis
Dear James,
My boyfriend is overweight and has a small penis. Should I stay with him?
Amber Kiker
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Dear Amber Kiker,
I am very glad that you asked this question because I am quite positive a large percentage of Johnny America readers are both overweight and lacking in penis size. First, let’s start by pointing out some very important facts that I think you should know.
- Chlamydia (pronounced: kluh-mid-ee-uh) is a sexually transmitted disease (STD) that is caused by bacteria called Chlamydia trachomatis, so seek medical assistance immediately and have a qualified Johnny America reader swab your vagina.
- The longest river in the world is the Nile. The second longest river in the world is Amazon.com.
- Lions have the largest Irises of any mammal, therefore, they can see better in the dark.
Taking these very important facts into consideration, I believe you should stay with your fat in the belly, small in the smelly boyfriend of yours. Also, I would like to add that, being your boyfriend, my advice is in bias and not always rational. Enjoy reading Johnny America. I hate your hair and I hope you die.
James Spillane
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Reader Comments
I think LBT are great, you should too.
They’re a bunch of lousy down and out bums who used to be rolling in it before they pissed it all up against the wall in a haze of poker and prostitutes… who play noisy electro/sleaze/rock’n’roll music.
Check us, oops, i mean THEM, out!!!
The fat keeps you further and further from the action! Ditch ’em! James would make a fine gynocologist!
Great magazine. Great little penis and overweight columnist. Hot girlfriend. Keep up the good work!!
size doesn’t always matter!