Johnny America


Just Ask James: Small Penis


Dear James,

My boyfriend is over­weight and has a small pe­nis. Should I stay with him?

Am­ber Kiker

Dear Am­ber Kiker,

I am very glad that you asked this ques­tion be­cause I am quite pos­i­tive a large per­cent­age of John­ny Amer­i­ca read­ers are both over­weight and lack­ing in pe­nis size. First, let’s start by point­ing out some very im­por­tant facts that I think you should know.

Tak­ing these very im­por­tant facts in­to con­sid­er­a­tion, I be­lieve you should stay with your fat in the bel­ly, small in the smelly boyfriend of yours. Al­so, I would like to add that, be­ing your boyfriend, my ad­vice is in bias and not al­ways ra­tio­nal. En­joy read­ing John­ny Amer­i­ca. I hate your hair and I hope you die.

James Spillane

Filed under Just Ask James on November 19th, 2004

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Reader Comments

Tran Fan wrote:

I think LBT are great, you should too.
They’re a bunch of lousy down and out bums who used to be rolling in it be­fore they pissed it all up against the wall in a haze of pok­er and pros­ti­tutes… who play noisy electro/sleaze/rock’n’roll music.
Check us, oops, i mean THEM, out!!!

Jane wrote:

The fat keeps you fur­ther and fur­ther from the ac­tion! Ditch ’em! James would make a fine gynocologist!

Great mag­a­zine. Great lit­tle pe­nis and over­weight colum­nist. Hot girl­friend. Keep up the good work!!

Anonymous wrote:

size does­n’t al­ways matter!

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